“It doesn’t really matter if they are,” I said with a shrug. “I mean we were so young; we obviously don’t remember. But it’s kind of cute to imagine little versions of us awkwardly staring at each other.”
Leo laughed and tightened his arms around me, leaning forward for a kiss.
“You know, I keep thinking about what our life could be like if I didn’t have a hockey career waiting for me,” he said. He looked out at the water, and I wondered if this was breaking the rules. Still, I really wanted to know what he imagined.
“What do you think we’d be like?”
He sighed and smiled. “I see our little dark-haired kids running around on this beach, playing and laughing, while we sit right here, you pregnant with another.”
He touched my stomach, rubbing his hand back and forth, and I wondered if he was imagining it as vividly as I was. Us, surrounded by family, my stomach swollen with Leo’s baby as the fireworks started.
“I can see it too,” I said, closing my eyes.
“You’d look so beautiful carrying my child,” he whispered. “We’d probably have half a dozen kids if I had anything to say about it because I’m pretty sure seeing you pregnant and growing my baby would be a huge turn-on and I’d keep getting you pregnant.”
I chuckled and looked at him. “Everything turns you on.”
“Just everything about you, Hawaii.” He gave me a soft, deep kiss and I heard the sounds of the first firework shooting into the air, the squeals of excited kids around us.
I kept my eyes closed for another minute, just listening. There was no point in wishing for that future with Leo, but when I opened my eyes and nestled against his neck to watch the fireworks, it was still the wish in my heart.
The rest of winterbreak was even harder than Thanksgiving had been. I was surrounded by my family and the place I loved but there was a gaping Leo-sized hole in my life and the video calls and sexting just didn’t cut it.
I was lying by the pool at our resort in Kauai, sending Leo pictures of myself in my bathing suit and waiting for the inevitable dick pic I’d get back in response when Mom rolled onto her side to face me. Elena had fallen asleep on my other side.
“Soph,” Mom said. “I was thinking about spring break.”
My chest tightened at the thought. I hadn’t even considered spring break. On the one hand, I wanted to come home, of course, but on the other, spring break happened at the end of the very limited time I had with Leo. Giving up an entire week with him felt like a terrible idea when I’d be home for good only a month after that.
“Oh?” I asked, trying to keep my voice neutral. I lowered my phone to my side and propped my sunglasses on my head.
“I wondered if maybe you should stay in Boston,” she said.
I let out a rush of air, relief flooding me. “What makes you say that?”
“Elena told me you and Leo are planning to break up after graduation.”
“Mom,” I sighed. “I really don’t want to think or talk about it.”
“Okay, but I just want you to know that if you decide to stay in Boston during spring break, we get it. No one will be upset with you,” she said as she reached for my hand. “I’m happy you’re experiencing love, and you should enjoy it.”
My eyes filled with tears. “It’s not supposed to hurt this much though, is it?”
She pulled me up to sitting and sat up to hug me. “That’s how you know it’s real.”
My phone dinged and I startled, hopeful that it was Leo. Mom let go of me and gestured to the phone. “Tell Leo I said hi.”
“Thanks, Mom,” I said before leaning back in my seat and grinning at Leo’s complaints that he’d received my pictures on the team bus, followed by a GIF of a crowd cheering with a note that they’d won their game after he scored three goals in one night.
I kicked my feetimpatiently. Sitting in coach between two large men—one of whom needed a shower—was a much different experience than my flight home had been. I could not wait to get off this plane for a multitude of reasons, one of which was the scent accosting my nose. But most importantly, I was finally going to see Leo again. Two and a half weeks without him had taken a toll. I was anxious, excited, and horny. I picked up my phone and texted him again.
Me:I’m not going to make it. I miss you too much.
Leo:I’m already at the airport.
Me:What? My flight doesn’t land for an hour!
Leo:And yet, here I am.
