Taking the syringe gingerly between thumb and forefinger, I dumped it in the sink and pulled his big body flat, folding his knees in to the point where I worried I’d compress his lungs too much to get breath in there anyway.
I tilted his head back, pinched his nose, then looked back at the syringe.
“Oh, God.”
The yellow case Ruby had given me before we left home sat where I’d left it amongst my clothing, stupidly thinking I’d never have to use it.
“Damn it, Toby.”
Inside the box was a small spray bottle and a folded page of instructions.
“One spray, then wait,” I muttered, stumbling back into the bathroom.
His face was porcelain white as I kneeled beside him, a terrifying gray pallor tinting the edges of his eyes and nose.
“Okay, Toby, let’s make this work. I’m going to spray this in your nose, and you’re going to not die.”
I pressed the spray to his nostril and squeezed the trigger, holding my breath as the soft hiss told me I’d hopefully administered it correctly. Checking back on the instructions, I pushed and pulled his body until he was on his side, and then all I could do was wait and pray.
I wasn’t sure what to expect, but it wasn’t the fist that swung straight for my face. I fell on my ass and crab walked out of the way as Toby’s body followed, his eyes wild as he crawled over the top of me and pinned me to the cold floor. His fingers clawed my shoulders as he leaned over me. Pain shot through me.
“Toby.”
He paused, head tilted like there were two perceptions of reality co-occurring for him.
“Toby, it’s me.”
Recognition bled into his face in fits and starts, his grip tightening incrementally until he finally seemed to notice what he was doing.
“Angel? Shit.” He released his hold, stumbling backward. “I’m so sorry. Are you okay? Why did you do that? I could have hurt you.”
I’d never considered myself to be an emotional person. When Adam had betrayed me, I felt nothing. But as Tobias stood there, hands out in helpless appeal and asking why I would risk myself to save his life, my blood boiled.
“You almost killed yourself! What the fuck were you thinking, Toby?!”
“I was fine. Just a little doped out. I just wanted a bit of quiet.”
“You were fucking blue! You weren’t breathing, and I couldn’t find your heartbeat. You almost died, and I don’t think you care at all.”
My eyes stung, and Toby blurred in front of me as a weird tremor took over my body.
“I thought you were dead.”
He cursed, finally moving in close enough to wrap his arms around me as my knees gave out.
“I’ve got you. I’m sorry, Angel. I was selfish. I’m sorry.” He muttered gentle words of apology as the tremor increased into a full body shake I couldn’t control.
Shock. My mind provided, finally calling up my training too late. A heavy breath turned into a sob, and I let him hold me as I finally broke.
How much could the human nervous system take in a day? I’d found my limit, apparently.
Beneath my cheek, Toby’s heart beat a strong, comforting rhythm, a reminder that he was still here, that I hadn’t found a corpse.
“I’ll quit,” he murmured, so low I almost didn’t catch it.
“No offense, Toby, but I don’t have the energy for empty promises right now.”
He pulled away just enough to look me in the eye. “No, I mean it. Total abstinence. I’ll do it. For you.”
