Not like I was the only one who helped her yesterday. After she’d fallen asleep, I fell down a rabbit hole of internet forums discussing the best ways to deal with menstrual cramping.
I had some very interesting ideas to try next time she needed help.
“Good morning, what are you writing?” she asked.
De Beaux smirked and spread his arms behind her.
“Nothing, really. Just fucking around with some chord progressions,” I lied, subtly checking my lyrics weren’t visible under the pages of sheet music.
“Oh, okay. I’d love to hear it if it becomes something,” she said.
Harvey pulled a face behind her back, and I pretended her interest in my music wasn’t the highlight of my morning.
“What’s on the agenda for today?” I asked, redirecting the conversation. I’d have to start writing about something else soon, or our next album was going to be a wash.
“You and I have a radio guest appearance to get to, while the others are—oh, hello—”
Her sentence was cut off as a tattooed hand lifted her face. Without a word, Tobias dropped a searing kiss on her mouth, shifting until his back blocked my view. A small noise bubbled out of her throat, and De Beaux, the asshole, cackled in delight.
“That’s the way you say good morning,” he crowed as my brother pulled back, leaving our little manager looking stunned and more than a little off balance.
“Morning, Angel.”
“Hi.” Her voice was breathy, and I felt something ugly turn in my gut. I never pulled that softness out of her. Toby gave me a smile as he sauntered toward the coffeepot.
“You shouldn’t take advantage of him like that,” I muttered before I could stop myself.
She had been watching him walk away, fingertips pressed gently to her lips with an expression close to wonder on her face. At my words, her eyes snapped back to mine, her face shuttering into the defensive one I saw most of the time.
“I don’t see how this is any of your business, Calix. Go get ready. We leave in fifteen minutes.”
“Of course it’s my business. He’s my brother. On top of that, he’s a drug addict who can’t stay straight long enough to know what the fuck he’s doing.”
Harvey shuffled closer to the window, doing his best to disappear as Tatum bristled, but it was Toby who spoke up next.
“Is that what you really think of me? Of course I know what I’m fucking doing. How about you stop using me as a weapon and start dealing with your own shit. I’m not your project, and I won’t be the reason you push people away. Grow the fuck up and start living your life for yourself.”
This was the fight I needed. I surged out of my seat, flinging words that didn’t register in the moment, but relishing in the way they cut. I had a burn-the-world self-destruction streak a mile wide, and it occurred to me that maybe this would be the thing that puts a big enough divide between Tatum and me to help me move the fuck on.
When I ran out of words, the silence was eerie. Tobias’s face was a shade of white I hadn’t seen since his last blowout on GHB, and as I played the words back in my head, hearing them for the first time, I realized I’d gone too far.
“I’m—” I reached for my twin, my other half, but the damage was done.
He stormed off the bus and disappeared between the other vehicles in our convoy. Hopefully, he was headed to the venue to burn some energy on the drum kit, or maybe he’d find Lainey and burn the destructive energy in a different way. The small part of me that had picked this fight in the first place took a measure of happiness in the idea that if he fucked Lainey,it’d break the exclusivity agreement with Tatum, and I wouldn’t have to see them again together.
Fuck, I was such an asshole.
Between one heartbeat and the next, the fight drained out of me, replaced by a shame so great that I refused to meet anyone’s eye as I dressed for the radio interview and waited for Tatum in the rental car.
The drive to the station passed in a silence heavy with judgment. I knew Tatum wanted to rip me to shreds for how I’d spoken to Tobias, and rightly so, but I appreciated her leaving the confrontation until after our work commitment. As we steered through increasingly tall buildings, her lips pursed with the effort to keep her opinions to herself. Glancing at the navigation system, I pointed out a tall building on the corner of the next block.
“It’s that one there. We can find a place to park and walk over.”
Great idea in theory. Unfortunately, it seemed news of our arrival preceded us, and we were greeted on the sidewalk by a growing crowd wielding cell phones as effectively as any paparazzo.
“Move,” Tatum growled, shouldering through the wall of technology and beating a path to our destination.
Hands reached for me, grabbing at my jacket, at my arms, and I focused firmly on my manager’s ass to avoid losing my mind. The building security guards took over the situation a moment later, meeting us in the middle of the street and holding back the growing mass of people as we retreated behind the glass entry doors.
