“Dig beneath my skin, find the rot that lies within,” Calix sang, his words flowing over me like a lover.
It reminded me of the first time I had heard his voice, not so long ago in the back of a taxi, when I wondered if it was real. The small amount of self-preservation I had left wished it wasn’t because despite my logical mind knowing the man was a pain in my ass, I still felt my body warm in the same way it had in the back of the cab. Subtly shifting my weight to ease the ache his words ignited in my core, the shift of the stage curtains caught my attention.
Beyond the reach of the stage lighting, Tobias stood in shadows, watching his brother.
I eased slowly toward him, unsure if I should alert Calix to his presence, and as I got closer, I realized he was mouthing along with the words.
I can not endure, can’t fight anymore.
There is no escape from these lies that we live.
No form of attack, we can’t find our way back.
It will all fade to black on these lies that we live.
A chill ran through me as I caught sight of the blank expression on his face.
It’s just the drugs. He’ll be fine once he’s sober.
I hated how little I believed it as I reached out to touch his elbow. He flinched away from me, a startled look fading slowly into recognition.
“I hate this song,” he said by way of greeting.
Whatever he had taken seemed to still be affecting him, but I couldn’t suppress the relief to find he’d moved out of the zombie stage he’d been in earlier. His pupils were blown wide, and a small tremor ran through his hands as we stood there watching Calix strum through the bridge of the song, eyes closed and face set in lines of a struggle I knew nothing about. But Tobias knew, and as I saw the pain mirrored on his face, I couldn’t keep quiet any longer.
“Why do you hate it?”
I regretted the question as soon as I put it out there. Tobias’s silence was more answer than I deserved, considering I’d known these guys less than two weeks. It just felt longer. Truth be told, I wanted to know everything about them, and the tease Otis gave me only made me want to know more.
Shoving down my curiosity, I opened my mouth to apologize and revoke the question when he spoke.
“It was his suicide song.”
After reunitingAbbie with her blushing older sister and steering the VIPs out of the stadium, I stumbled back to the tour bus with Tobias’s words still ringing in my head.
Had he been speaking metaphorically, or…?
I really needed to shelve that question because the only people who could answer that were currently either passed out, slumped against the front tire of the bus, or emotionally locked up tighter than Fort Knox. With a sigh, I shook Tobias by the shoulder, receiving a grunt in response.
“Come on, big guy. Let’s get you inside.” Hiking his arm over my shoulder, I pushed and pulled until I had him upright, feeling tiny under his tall frame.
“Angel,” he muttered, throwing us off balance as he turned toward me.
“Okay, easy. Work with me here.” With a bit of effort, I maneuvered him to the base of the steps where we had to pause as he buried his face in my hair, inhaling deeply.
“You smell like redemption, Angel. Are you here to save my soul?”
“I thought your brother was the lyricist. I’m here to get you to bed. Can you help me out by climbing these stairs?”
Tobias pulled back and shot me a panty-melting smile. “If it means going to bed with you? Anything.”
I choked on air as he summoned the energy to bound up into the bus, leaving my “That’s not what I meant,” unheard. As I made my own ascent, I was met with the distinct slapping sound of flesh on flesh. On the cushion where I’d sat and drank my morning coffee while traveling 75 mph down the freeway twelve hours before was Harvey’s naked ass, enthusiastically humping up into an equally naked Lainey, the bassist for Blood Dirt.
I hated the woman already.
Without pausing her bouncing, Lainey’s eyes traveled over me, dismissing me immediately and slid over to Tobias, who seemed to have exhausted his burst of energy.
“Hey, baby. Wanna join us? I’ve got a little something that’ll get you going.”
