“Yes. May I ask who I’m speaking with?” Her tender-hearted voice was shaky, revealing her age.
I would never be able to undo what I was about to do, but it was now or never.
I sucked in the deepest breath I could, hoping it would last for the next fifteen seconds.
“This is Scarlett Carson; George Freeman gave me your number. I’m sorry to bother you, and I know you probably don’t remember me, but you were one of my nurses when I delivered a baby thirteen years ago. I gave that baby up for adoption that day, and I remember you holding me in your arms as I crumbled to pieces.” I laughed through my tears.
“Oh, sweetie. Of course I remember you.” Her voice was kind and gentle, just like it was all those years ago. “We don’t get many adoptions in our little hospital; in fact, you were my first, and it was a day I’ll never forget,” she said, a soft chuckle escaping through the phone. “You’re actually the second person to call me about this adoption in the last week.”
“The second person?” I asked.
“Yes. An older gentleman called looking for information regarding the baby’s birth parents as well.”
An older gentleman? I wanted to push but I wanted the answer to my own question more.
“Did you ever get to meet the parents who adopted my baby?”
“I did, and they were wonderful. They stood hopeful outside of the door, patiently waiting to meet their baby girl. The woman had at least five different pink blankets; she said she couldn’t decide which one was going to be the softest.”
“Baby girl?” I questioned. The wordgirlgot lodged in my throat as I sucked in as deep of breaths as I could manage. “But I saw the paperwork in my room that day that said Tyler under the baby’s name.”
The world around me was fuzzy, little specks of black peppering my vision.
“Did you not know the baby was a girl?” she asked. “I could’ve sworn the adoption was somewhat open? Us nurses were told we could tell you anything you wanted to know about the baby.”
“It was. I didn’t want to know anything. I knew if I did, I’d never be able to go through with it,” I replied.
“Oh, darlin’. Tyler was her middle name,” she said gently. “If I recall, I think they went with Ruby for her first name.” Her comment was light, like it didn’t carry the weight of my entire world in it. “I only remember that because I’d always loved that name. It’s a strong and brilliant name, and from what I remember, so was that little girl.” Her tone was laced with a memory, one that clearly brought her joy from the sound of a smile riding across her face.
“Ruby,” I breathed, barely loud enough to make it through the phone.
Her confirmation knocked the wind out of me, forcing me to my knees.
My head fell to my thighs as I choked back a sob, trying to reclaim my nervous system but struggling to do so. I needed to get off the phone, and I needed to get off now.
“Thank you,” I said, managing to hide the emotion in my voice.
“Of course, sweetie. I hope you’re doing well,” she said, completely unaware of how unwell I was.
“You too. Goodbye,” I muttered.
The phone couldn’t click off fast enough, but as soon as the screen went black, so did everything else. I rocked my body back and forth, hoping the repetitive movement would bring a stillness to the chaos rampaging through my body.
A knock at the door rattled me to my feet.
“Someone’s in here,” I choked out.
A few seconds passed and then another knock came, forcing me up.
The mirror that stuck to the wall provided me with a reflection of myself, one that I’d never seen before, one that appeared different than five minutes ago. I ran my fingers under my eyes and dabbed at the corners of my mouth. I couldn’t hide the swollen eyes, but to a stranger, I could only hope they’d never know.
The steel door clicked, unlocking, but before I could swing it open, it was coming in on me.
I laid my eyes on those perfect baby blues and it wasn’t even two seconds after that that I was drowning in them, losing all control of my emotions, collapsing into his arms and finding myself on the floor once again, but this time I had the steady force of Stetson behind me.
“It’s okay, I’m right here,” he assured me. “What’s goin’ on?”
“It’s Ruby…” I sucked in as much air as I could, trying to slow my breaths. “You were right.” A sob coming directly after each word. “Ruby is my daughter.”
