“Awe, you do love him. Let’s get you there so you can tell him, because right now he probably needs to hear it.”
I nod excitedly but don’t say the words. It feels wrong to say them aloud to anyone but him. “I need to get to the airport. Can you take me?” I ask Poppy, gathering my things. I toss her the car keys. “You can drive my car.”
“Slow your roll. Let’s get you a bag packed and I’ll see if I can find out from Hen where he’s staying.”
My roll comes to a screeching halt when I pull up the flights on my computer at Poppy’s insistence. There are storms forecasted in St. Louis all day and everything is canceled or delayed by hours. All the later flights are full with people rebooking to try and get to their destinations.
“The next flight I can actually get on isn’t until tomorrow afternoon. What am I going to do?”
“If you drove straight through. You would get there late tonight. But babe—”
I shake her off. I’m already on edge. Driving twelve hours would be awful. It would send me into a full-blown panic attack. “No, I don’t want to do that. Not alone. I’ll take the flight tomorrow and watch to see if anything else opens up sooner.”
“I’ll see what Hendrix can find out.”
“Make sure he doesn’t tell him I’m coming. If something goes wrong and my flight gets canceled or I can’t get there . . . I already let him down once.”
Poppy pulls me into a hug. “I doubt that. You know he loves you, too. He’s loved you for years. Just travel safe and get to him in one piece. Mia and I will help as much as Willa will let us. You’ve got him and we’ve got you.”
“Thank you. Both of you,” I say, smiling over at Willa.
“Of course. I’m going to run so I can catch Hendrix before he leaves for practice,” she says with one last squeeze before she heads back out the same way she came in.
I take a deep breath, looking around and mentally starting a to-do list. Willa and I put our heads together to come up with a plan for a week of coverage and pack up my laptop and charger. After I give her a quick rundown on how to do inventory, I head out to get things sorted out at home.
Chapter 41
Stormy Mood
Present
When I left Rich’s office four days ago, I tried to do what I promised. I owe it to Delilah to take care of myself. She was right in a lot of ways. This might be where I need to be, but this is my past. She’s my future. Right now, the two are colliding and, even though I have to do this for my brother, I need to do it to ensure that my future with Delilah is everything I want it to be. Filled with hope and laughter, and separate from the darkness of my past.
I’ll never forget my brother, and the grief will always be there, but I need this closure to build the life Delilah deserves. To be the man she deserves instead of the guy that’s been chasing after his brother’s ghost for the last three years.
As much as I’ve tried to rest, I’m antsy. Nothing about being in this city feels right. Everything is wrong without Delilah by my side. Instead of restful sleep, I tossed and turned when I tried to nap. Today it’s even worse, but after a restless hour I gave up and decided to go for a walk. But when I stepped outside, the sky was a shade of greenish-gray that lets you know all hell is about to break loose.
I duck back into the hotel to escape the incoming weather.Alone with my thoughts again. Fucking awesome.
Swiping my card at my hotel room door, I settle on watching some baseball. If I can’t play, at least I can watch some old games. I pull up the MLB app on my iPad and start flicking through the options.
My phone vibrates beside me. Foolishly, I still can’t shake the hope that it’s Delilah every time. We’ve never gone this long without texting. When I left, I knew that this would happen. That talking to me while I was away would be harder for her than giving me space. Every text and call would just reopen the wound for both of us. But fuck, I want to hear her voice.
When I pick up, it’s Hen on the other end of the line. “Hey, man. How’s it going?” I ask. Maybe he’s talked to Delilah and can tell me how she’s doing.
“I should be asking you that. How are things going in St. Louis? Did your P.I. have any updates for you?”
“Not really. He thinks this could be the break we needed, but he won’t know anything concrete until after he meets with Miller’s ex. He met with her to collect all the evidence but his team is going over everything with a fine tooth comb right now,” I grit out. Just thinking about the fact that he’s there and I’m stuck in this stupid hotel room alone makes me agitated.
“That’s a step in the right direction? Does the hotel at least have a decent gym?”
“Um, no. I’m in a Hyatt by the Arch. I grabbed the first decent looking hotel I found near Rich’s office downtown when I was on the plane. But I found a gym close by that I’ve been using here,” I explain, glancing out the window. The rain is coming down hard, now pinging off the glass.
“How are the workouts going so far?” Hendrix asks just as lightning explodes across the sky.
“Calling them workouts doesn’t feel right. Your grandma is more active than me right now. Fuck, Hen.” I rake my hand through my hair, blowing out a breath. “I’m so bored stuck in this room, and I miss her so much it hurts.”
“You could come home. No one would think any less of you.” His voice is cautious, like he’s afraid that it might not be the right thing to say.
