“Hold on to the back of the couch and spread your legs for me.”
I reach forward, bending at the waist, and brace my hands against the couch—craving more of that commanding tone. He steps back and I miss the heat of his body, but he doesn’t make me wait long. Cruz steps up against me, covering my body with his, nothing between us this time. Gently, he brushes my hair to the side, placing a kiss at the nape of my neck. “Tell me you want this, Delilah,” he whispers in my ear.
“Please, Cruz.” He rubs his length along my slit, coating himself with my arousal. Even though he just gave me an earth shattering orgasm, I already need more.
“Please, what?” he asks, his voice sounding strained with the restraint of holding back.
“Don’t make me say it,” I whimper, afraid that if I say it out loud, it will all be too real. I’m about to fuck my best friend and I know it will change everything.
“I need to hear it. I’m not giving you my cock until I hear the words,” he says, rubbing himself up and down me painfully slowly, making the ache inside me deepen.
“I want you to fuck me.” My breath whooshes out of me as he thrusts forward, entering me in one smooth stroke.
“Mi Cielo, you feel like heaven,” he praises, as he draws back his hips.
I shoot up, grasping the sheet in front of me. I’m drenched, covered in sweat, and panting when I wake up. The dream has my blood pounding behind my eardrums. I can still feel the flutter of my orgasm between my legs. I bring my hands to my head, pushing them through my sweat damp hair. It felt so real. God, I could almost feel his breath against my thighs as he knelt at my feet.
“Ugh.” Rolling to my side, I pull my pillow to my face and let out a frustrated yell—the image of him looking up at me etched into my memory. My feet thrash, kicking the covers off. It’s too damn hot in here.
Now that I’m awake without Cruz beside me, I feel more alone than ever. Even after I left Brad, it never felt this empty.
I flip to my side, punching my pillow, only to turn back to the other side. No matter what position I’m in, or how hard I try, the dream sticks with me.
My palms cover my eyes like it will keep what I’m about to do from being a reality. I blindly root around in my nightstand drawer and pull out Buzz Lightgirth, my white and purple vibrator. I click the button seven times, skipping over the pulsing and wave settings. Going straight to the steady buzz that always punches my ticket. My hand slips between my legs, seeking relief from how horny that dream left me.
Trying to fill the emptiness with pleasure even if it’s not what I need. At the very least, maybe it will help rid me of leftover lust before I see him later today when Poppy and I go to the game.
“Your hair is down today. I thought that was only for holidays and hot dates. Any reason, or just feeling frisky?” Poppy asks as we hustle through the gameday crowd trying to make it to the stadium for first pitch.
I squeeze closer to her as we make our way across a particularly busy crosswalk. “I’d really like to put an end to my dry spell. My elbow is getting sore from all the self-love.” A self-deprecating laugh breaks free. I wish I was joking, but I think years of being mostly alone has caused an acute case of tennis elbow.
“Okay, wow. I love that you are comfortable sharing that with me. Let’s make sure we fix that with an ergonomically correct vibrator. Maybe try switching up your position? Do you have anyone in mind to end the dry spell?” she asks as we pause at another crosswalk. “You do. Don’t you?” Her voice gets higher than it was a minute ago.
I bite my bottom lip nervously. “I had a dream last night that I can’t get out of my head, but I need to.”
“Did you have a sex dream about Cruz?”
My neck heats as blush spreads across my face. “God, it was hot. I woke up sweating and out of breath. It had me so amped up that I needed to come a second time.”
“Is now a good time to tell you I told Hendrix we would meet him after the game? I need to get the keycard for his apartment so I can water his plants while he’s gone.” Poppy wrinkles her nose as she explains why she needs to meet up with Cruz’s new teammate and friend. He is a recent trade from the Los Angeles Diablos and the two guys grew close during spring training.
My eyes go wide. I had forgotten that Cruz invited me over for movie night. I‘ve been so out of sorts over this dream that the text messages from the night before completely slipped my mind. At the time, the plan sounded fun. But after that dream, I’m not sure I can face him.
“Ugh . . . no. New plan. Hang with me here, I’m just spitballing.” A half-assed plan formulates in my head to get out of spending one-on-one time with Cruz tonight. “I’ll duck into the bathroom while you grab the key. You make up a story about needing a girls’ night and get rid of them.” I can already feel sweat forming on my upper lip. Deceiving people isn’t my strong suit. My dad always used to tease me because my tells were so obvious when I was trying to hide something.
“No way that works without Cruz getting suspicious,” she tells me softly.
“Please, Poppy,” I plead as we reach the front of the security line. Poppy hands me my family pass as she walks through the metal detector ahead of me.
“Lilah, of course I’ll do it, but he’s going to know you’re avoiding him. Maybe you should just tell him.”
Panic freezes me in place. “No . . . I can’t. Absolutely not. He doesn’t see me like that.” Poppy rolls her eyes at me, but it doesn’t stop me. “Besides, even if he saw me like that, I would never risk our friendship. Poppy, you saw me when Brad cheated. We had just met, but Cruz was there every step of the way. He let me cry on his shoulder . . . so many times.”
“Hey, Delilah. Look at me. You won’t lose him. You mean just as much to him as he does to you. You were his rock after his brother died,” she reminds me.
“So, I can hide in the bathroom?”
“If that’s what you need, we will hide you in the bathroom.”
