“I had so much fun with you two this last break,” Tonya was saying, strolling over any heavy implications, as blissful and at ease as ever. “I was thinking maybe we should plan something for after you two graduate. There will be a couple weeks there where you are free, won’t there? It’s such a big deal. Bri was so thrilled we took her up on her suggestion with Bala, she’s got a whole list of resort-planets and destination vacations she wants us to visit next.”
“We’ll check our schedules, it’s still a few months out,” Kat said politely. She honestly wasn’t sure what kind of break cadets usually got between graduation and training. Not to mention who knew what position she and Lee would be in given their application situation…
“It will be here before you know it,” Tonya beamed. And Kat knew she meant it to be encouraging, but Kat’s stomach sank even further into her gut as Tonya went on. “Let me know too, as soon as you know anything about end-of-program ceremonies. Your dad always has something, but I made Thea clear hisschedule for those last couple of weeks just in case. I told him this is one occasion he won’t want to miss.”
A faint blush colored Lee’s cheeks at the mention of his dad attending. She melted a little to see this sort of shy pride shining there. Mr. Waters would be pleased for his son, who wouldn’t be? And with the commendation of graduating with the rankings and honors that they both held. But there was also something in his face she placed closer to sorrow…
“And Kat, honey, Thea and I would be more than happy to assist with accommodating your family relations in any means that may be needed.”
“Oh, that won’t be necessary,” she said much too quickly. She could feel her cheeks burning as she turned away, massaging the skin with her palm.
She felt the solid weight of Lee’s arm stretch across her shoulders, his fingers gently squeezing her forearm. “It’s still a ways out, let’s wait to solidify plans until it’s a little closer.”
“Of course,” Tonya said quickly, realizing her misstep with more grace than Kat would ever expect given the disparity of their situations.
But Kat also hadn’t expected the sudden emotion that welled up in Tonya’s eyes. “I just can’t believe you guys are almost done,” she said, dabbing softly with a tissue before any water could fall on her perfect makeup. “It feels like yesterday that I was dropping Leland off. And then word of this blonde cadet with a ponytail kept cropping into all of his weekly phone calls…”
Kat’s hand stilled where she’d been toying with Lee’s hand.Always.
“Not all of them,” Lee said, feigning annoyance. But he shot her a grin when he thought Tonya wasn’t watching.
You, Kat mouthed, keeping his little secret smile for herself as they moved on to less trivial updates about recentSolar Cosmetic product lines and Tonya’s expanded territory coverage.
“We really appreciate you,” Kat said as they were ending their call. And she meant every word. Tonya was everything—and more than she could ever hope for as a mother-like figure in her life. She was a dream she’d never dared to let herself yearn.
“We’ll call you soon, mom,” Lee said, rising to his feet once more to disconnect the call from his holoblock.
But he didn’t immediately sit down. He adjusted the holoblock’s position on his desk, neatly aligning it parallel with the rim before resting both hands flat against the desk’s surface.
“I really love your mom. She sounds excited,” Kat commented, watching his careful feng shui.
“Yeah. Yeah, I think she is. What she understands about the program, anyway. You know as well as I that she only knows a small fraction of what we do,” he said, pointedly. “But I think she’s proud of us.”
Us.There it was again, a whisper from that gnawing cavity inside her.
Lee had gone back to staring down at his desk. She studied him, the tension in his back. In his hands.
And are you? Are you proud of us,she wanted to ask. But she let those thoughts fall; she let those thoughts wisp away on the overhead draft. The questions felt as heavy as the gravity simulated onboard their ship. She smoothed a hand down a slight wrinkle in Lee’s grey and green plaid comforter. His room was just as clean, just as neat as ever. Tonya really should be proud of her son. Everything he was. All of the values he now tested and navigated ran through a filter system Tonya had helped instill in him.
“I like that she gets you these things,” she said, patting the soft down of Lee’s duvet once more. “The blankets. The matching sheet sets. The care packages.”
“She’d get them for you too, if you’d let her,” Lee said, carefully, looking up once more, this time straightening as he pushed himself away from the desk.
On deliberate steps, he came to crouch down so that his eyes rested level with hers.
“Kat. She’s there for you, too. You’re family. You know that, right?” He paused, and she flicked her eyes up to meet his. “Your aunt, as well. I know that was an offhand remark for her to make. But we would never let anything happen to you.” Lee sighed, his turn to stare down at the floor. “Regardless of what happens with Placement,” he said quietly.
And there was that sentiment again.We.
Kat swallowed. She knew that he was aware of the utility payments. The temporary income afforded to them by Kat’s scholarship compensation fund with the Raider Program. The extra toll she carried to support the two of them. She wasn’t proud of the situation.
She’d heard things had been different for Vyna—before her aunt had lost her sister. Before she’d gotten saddled with Kat. But this was all Kat had ever known, and wasted or not, Kat was all her aunt had; it was all either of them had. Before this. Before Lee and Tonya. Her eyes were brimming and about to overflow as Tonya’s had as they met Lee’s again.
“I’m surprised she didn’t bring up your great grandfather today,” Kat said on sniffly breaths to lighten the mood.
“Greatgreat—there are two greats,” Lee corrected her. “Ah, but we’ve heard enough of the space farmer to last us a lifetime haven’t we?” Lee asked, rising to his feet once more, only to collapse over top of her.
She was laughing as she squirmed under him, angling herself upward so that he could nestle beside her, with just his head resting in her lap.
