Katya starts fanning herself, tears well up as she announces, “You’re Kiki.”
I furrow my eyebrows. The words can’t possibly make sense. “What? No.”
Amanda’s jaw drops open. “Yes, you are.”
The realization hits me. She’s been singing to me for years—every heartbreak, every triumph. She was trying to keep me in her life the only way she could. The sob wells and bursts out of my chest. “But those are your best songs.”
Seconds later, we are all crying. We’re all a mess until the tears slow and we sit with the truth, and Amanda puts her head on my shoulder. It’s a small action, but it hits like falling into a fluffy clean bed after a long day. Comfortable and familiar. The exhaustion of the last few hours hits me, and I'm about to close my eyes when there’s a commotion outside.
The rest of the girls are here—but male voices arrive too. It’s Izzy, Waverly and Jenny, followed by the boys, Joey, Donny, Dimitri and Uri. My apartment has too many people in it and I don’t think I like it. Fuck. I’ll need to go to plan B. Ugh and that place is so much harder to keep clean.
Joey steps forward. “I'm checking to see if you want a vice night.”
“Nah,” I hitch my shoulders. “A puppy party… and maybe a rage room followed by getting shitfaced.”
My little blue-haired chaos gremlin claps her hands and yells, “Rocket launcher?”
“No.” I frown, “Izzy can’t fire one because I don't want it to shake her baby. It doesn’t seem fair to have fun without her.”
“Lame.” Jenny crosses her arms and pouts.
Even Lena seems disappointed as she explains. “Alana took me to a quarry near Vegas last year, and she said she took all the gas out of the tank, but when the rocket hit the car, there was a big explosion and a bunch of little ones too.” She starts making little flashing explosions with her hands.
“Did you take everyone BUT me?” Jenny gives me death glare. “Horseshit, and I’m the one getting access to the damn puppies.” I must take Jenny to launch some rockets, the sooner the better. Got it.
The puppies, shit. Grae would love a puppy party too. I nudge Amanda.
“Text Grae. Tell him about the puppies if he wants to come after we leave. I’m not ready to talk to him, but I don’t want him to spiral. I’ll call him when I’m ready.”
“I also don’t really get why you’re so upset.” Donny says, seeming genuinely confused. “Did you lose a few years with the love of your life? Sure, but it’s not exactly like either of your lives are shitholes. I say you get twelve hours to mope and cry and whine but then get over it. You two found each other and that’s what matters.”
It’s a bad day when Donny is the fucking voice of reason.
CHAPTER 29
Grae
Day 9
I’m glad Amanda texted me with an update, but you know it’s bad when I skip out on attending a puppy party. I lay in bed staring at my ceiling. There’s only so much anime I can watch before it stops providing the catharsis I need.
Amanda only stayed with me as a favor to Alana. And I pushed Alana away when she was fully capable of taking care of herself. She has every right to be pissed. I didn’t even talk to her about it before I imploded our relationship. I didn’t even give her an opportunity to prove my fears wrong. She was right, I didn’t trust her. I pull the pillow over my head and scream.
There’re footsteps in the living room, followed by whispers. My guests are debating if they should come in and check on me. Lukas isn’t always the most emotionally available. I’m sure he’s great for his girlfriend, but everyone else, he keeps at arm’s length. At least this time Teddy didn’t throw a knife at my head. CJ disappeared about an hour after I left Amanda’s place yesterday, and I don’t have the energy to hunt him down. I want to wallow in my bed.
“Yo.” It’s Teddy who finally comes in. “We’re going to watch One Piece and cry over a boat. You’ve got four more hours of mentally beating the shit out of yourself and then you need to fix this.”
I pull the pillow off my face. “How?”
“The fuck if I know.”
“You’re useless.”
“At this shit, yes. If you need to get rid of someone, I’m your man.”
“Can you get rid of Terk Henderson?” Everything is his fault and the longer that guy is breathing the worse my life gets.
“Aw, hell no!” Teddy throws up his hands. “You’re already in shit’s creek with Alana, and now you want to take away her new revenge pet project? Look, all I’m going to do is kill the guy, Alana is way more creative.”
