I hated that bitch since middle school, and now I see her brain matter every time I go to use the copy machine. She was the worst, evil for the sake of it. She’d post pictures of girls in the locker room while they were changing, and con guys out of abortion money when she wasn’t even pregnant. I didn’t know it back then, but she was a broken branch off the Four Families family tree. Can’t let our client know all that, too many questions.
“Tell him she died peacefully in her sleep.” That will end the search and make his sensitive heart happy and at least give him closure.
“No,” Darren says, “Her name wasn’t Mellisa. It was Kelly or Kimberly. I don’t know, I was drunk and everyone was saying goodbye to Lance.”
The knot in my stomach twists even more. I almost wish for the searing pain in my gut instead of whatever I’m feeling now. But Darren is oblivious, adding, “We’ve gotten more done on way less. Think about how many clients write down hot girl with pink or purple shirt at bar.”
Macie types away on her computer and pulls up a document. “This is Grae’s original Person of Interest form and doesn't have anyone with that name.”
Ouch. I didn’t even make the form.
The Person of Interest form is a running list of people that have sensitive information about our clients. We have them fill one out as soon as they sign the contract. Macie clicks her mouse a few more times.
“Wait… so on his handwritten copy, he started to write a name with the letter K but scratched it out.”
Double ouch. He thought of me and then disregarded our relationship completely. It doesn’t sting. It’s more like a serrated knife pulling the flesh off my bones.
“It was a long time ago, but I’ll look into it.” I will not be. I’ll give it a few weeks and come up with some shitty excuse. “Is there anything else?”
Markus takes over and starts naming assignments and major events coming up. I tune out, trying to forget the rising memories of him. He wasn’t Grae back when I was with him. I called him Davin, but I was the only one. He was a ball of anxiety, kind, sexy as hell, and I thought he loved me. Then he moved to LA, met Amanda, CJ and Lena, and started his fabulous and famous life.
We had talked about me moving out there, and I had received my acceptance letter to Los Angeles Business School, but plans changed. And I was left on the East Coast. He dressed in tuxes and couture while I was in military fatigues. He smelled like cologne, and I still smell like gun grease
Over the years, it stopped hurting when I thought about him. He’s better off without me, life has proven that. But I can’t seem to escape. From the outside, I’m sure it appears I can’t let it go. I’m notoriously petty and vengeful, but that’s not what this is. Things keep happening, and I end up in his orbit. It’s very fucking annoying, and I hate the optics.
He’s the constant reminder of what my life could have been but wasn’t. And since we broke up, no one has come half as close to making me feel as loved and seen as I was with him. But that was all a teenage dream, right? Nothing real like the cold hard reality of an adult relationship.
Still if I ever had the chance, I did have a few questions I’d like to ask. Things I seem to be able to arrange for other people, I can’t do for me. Every time I get close to even considering a new partner, the truth is, he isn’t Davin. And I wasn’t enough for him.
This is way too depressing. When I walk off the path of memory lane, the group is staring at me. Wait, did I miss something? Um… Should I agree with whatever was just said? Markus looks at me, “Is the meeting adjourned?”
“Yep.” Thanks for the save. He gives me a concerned side eye, but keeps his mouth shut. Good man.
The room clears out, and I walk to my office with Macie trailing behind. “Dr. Cooper called again. She said you bailed on your last three appointments.”
“And I’m going to bail on the next one too.” I’m dealing with the pain. I don’t need a doctor lecturing me and making me feel worse.
I push my door open, and in the reflection of the window, I can see Macie’s disapproving glare. “She’s not going to tell me any good news and it’s literally not going to change anything, so why make myself depressed?”
I push the blackout button on my windows and flip over the white board to view my plans. This and my spreadsheet would make people break out into hives. But I need it to keep my brain organized with all the loose threads I’ve got. The people I need to keep from becoming collateral damage, projects that still need managing, major events, revenge plots and, oh yeah, getting the next two generations of the Four Families safely out of the criminal world. Cool. Easy peasy.
Macie holds her laptop to her chest and rocks back and forth. “You know, you’ve built a huge network of allies. I’m sure if you asked they would help you.” Ask for help? Is she insane? Maybe she’s still drunk.
“Macie, I love you like a little sister. But I swear to Odin if you ever say something that fucking stupid again, I’ll fire you and ruin your life for the next fifty years. Understand?” She grunts, closing the door behind her.
I check my emails, and there’s one from my lawyer. He’s sending in paperwork to make an offer to a personal protection agency on the West Coast. Mastodon is finally profitable, and with new clients, it only makes sense to expand. The old guards are retiring and are looking for their golden parachutes. After spending a lifetime insulating the wealthy, it’s time for them to get a piece of the action. This is a low offer, and I fully expect to pay double when everything is said and done. But I wanted to get the ball rolling while life was quietish.
My cellphone rings and I almost knock over my emotional support water bottle reaching for it. Ian’s face fills the screen. “Aunt Alana!”
“Hey buddy.”
“This place is amazing!” He moves the camera around so I can see the kids in mouse ears all waving. Ian and Nonna have matching First Visit pins, and Lance and Izzy have Bride and Groom pins. Everyone is in a blissful state of exhaustion. Except Andrey, who seems miserable. Hehehehe.
“Thank you so much!” Ian yells.
“Look, there’s the sword!” Behind the kids, Donny in his typical basketball jersey attire jumps and says, “You can only pull it out of the stone if you’re pure of heart!” He pushes Drew out of the way and runs out of the frame. Yeah, I have to get him out of the crime world. He’s never going to make it.
The phone is pulled out of Ian’s hand and his father has it. “What the hell Alana? You picked today to send us here? You know tonight’s The Knights of the Night Fanfest. Now we’re going to miss it because of some stupid fireworks.”
