Me: Did the front desk send you a list?
Kitten: I’ve spent more time in incognito mode today than I have in the last three years. Lots of researching terms.
Me: Well don’t do it on your work computer.
Kitten: The last thing I need is HR questioning my browser history.
Kitten: Question
Probably about terms or positions.
Me: Go on
Kitten: The guys at the Alpha Dogggz podcast seem like they eat crayons—which flavor do you think is their favorite?
Me: Crayons don’t come in flavors…
Kitten: They do if you eat them.
I don’t know how to respond to her, so it's time to deflect.
Me: Do you have any questions about the checklist?
Kitten: Where’s your list?
Me: Huh?
Kitten: What happens if there’s something on my list that you don’t do?
Fuck. Why is she so concerned about me?
Me: No skin-to-skin contact. It’s pretty easy.
Kitten: But …
Me: I know. I broke the rules once. It won’t happen again.
Kitten: You’ll never touch me, kiss me, or fuck me.
Me: No.
God, that sounds so cold
Me: But you’ll still get off, promise.
The dots bounce on my screen, then vanish. Where did she go? Fuck. Did I lose her? Sweat beads at my hairline. She’s gone.
Me: Kitten, you there? — delete
Me: Are you ok? — delete
Me: Hello? — delete
Every time I try to come up with something to say, my brain hits a brick wall. It feels like ten lifetimes when her message comes through.
Kitten: Is it a germ thing, or is it me?
Me: Neither—just my personal rules.
