***
Later that night, my father laid down what he expects from me, and he has no reason to believe I’ll go against him. I never have before.
I trudge back to my apartment. Sally is watching TV with her feet up on the coffee table. As soon as she takes one look at me, her feet drop to the floor, and she turns it off. “What’s happened? Sit.” She pats the cushioned seat next to her. “There’s obviously something wrong. What is it?”
I flop down and rest my head back, staring at the ceiling. “I had a talk with my dad today. Jeremy went running to him and told him what he saw at the club last night.”
Sally’s eyebrows knit together. “He ran to your dad?” she scoffs. “What a loser. What exactly did he tell him?”
I go on to explain, and after, I blow out a long breath. “Oh, and my mother would be disappointed in me.”
“That’s messed up. You know that, right? He’s putting the biggest guilt trip on you so you do what he wants. That’s not fair on you. Especially using your mother to get his point across.”
Deep down, I know she’s right. “When you’ve had years of expectation put on you, it’s hard to break free from. Since my mother died, it’s always been my father and me. We’re a team.”
“The church is always something you’re a part of. It shouldn’t be everything about you. If you could have anything you wanted without worrying about what your father expected from you, what would it be?”
Lifting my head off the back of the couch, I turn to Sally.
Kade
The thought comes quickly.
No point lying to myself anymore. He consumes every part of me.
Not only does he set my body on fire, but also my heart. He’s who I want to curl up and fall asleep next to at the end of the day and wake up with in the morning. I want to laugh with him. Share my hopes and dreams. The man I want to build a life with.
“I’d want Kade.”
Sally’s face lights up. “Then what are you waiting for? Go to him.”
“He doesn’t feel the same way about me. I know he cares. Probably more than he was expecting to, but he made it clear he doesn’t want a relationship.”
“From what I’ve learned from Evan, who’s become fast friends with Lincoln and Asher, Kade hasn’t looked at or touched another woman since the day you first rocked up at the club. That man has feelings. Every time he looks at you, it’s clear on his face.”
My heart jumps. We’d spent so much time together, I didn’t think he’d been with other women, but I could never be certain and didn’t want to ask. Hearing Sally tell me he hasn’t slept with another woman in weeks gives me hope that maybe there can be more. “You really think he has feelings?”
“I have no doubt.”
I wish I could be as sure as Sally. “It still doesn’t mean he wants a relationship.”
“Ask him. Just because he said one thing at the start doesn’t mean he’s sticking to it.”
“Wouldn’t he have said something if his feelings had changed?”
“Maybe he’s as scared as you are.”
I pull a face. “The thought of Kade being scared of anything is ridiculous.”
“Don’t be so sure. If he’s falling in love, I bet he’s shaking in his boots.”
I slide my finger along the seam of my jeans. “If by some miracle Kade feels the same, what about my dad and the church?”
Sally puts a hand over mine. “This is your life, not Jude’s. Working at the church isn’t what makes you happy. Being with the men he sets you up with makes you miserable.”
“He’ll be so disappointed.”
“Do you love Kade enough to live with your father’s disappointment?”
