“I’m glad.”
“As soon as I’m done with the security company. I’ll leave. The guys can do without me for the whole night.”
“You’re not just business partners with them. I see a deep bond. You love them.”
I frown. “Yeah, we’re close. Our bond is tight. But love is a foreign concept to me.”
“Are you saying you can’t love anyone?” Her eyes hold a puzzled look.
“Yes. It was stripped out of me from a young age.”
A frown creases her brow. “I don’t believe you. You give a lot of love.”
I jerk back. “Why would you say that?”
“You may say it’s been stripped out of you, but you show it all the time. Look at the people around you. Lincoln and Asher have been in your life for years. You have each other’s backs. Like you said, you’re brothers. Wholoveeach other. I’m guessing there is nothing you wouldn’t do for them.”
I roll my lips inward and don’t respond. I would die for them, and they would for me too.
“Then there’s Evan. Your biological brother. You have watched out for him his whole life, even when you weren’t in it. And yes, he told me about how you paid for everything he and his family needed. Oh, and let’s not forget Natasha and Remi. You took in a pregnant teenager to protect her. Then there are the people who work for you. You know about their lives and what’s happening with their families. You even offer them financial support. That all looks like love to me. “You’ve lived your whole life believing no one loved you. Yet, you have your brothers… Natasha. They all love you. Even though you’ve believed you don’t have it, you still know how to give it. You just can’t recognize what love is.”
Something flashes in her eyes. Are her feelings changing, and she’s hoping for more from me? Panic presses hard against my ribs because I can’t give her what she wants.
“Okay, I care for people and want to make sure they’re taken care of. Running my business allows me to do that. You’re looking at things too deeply.” I don’t want to dig deep into my feelings.
She sighs with resignation, like she knows she can’t convince me otherwise. “How did you come to have so many successful businesses?”
Turning onto my side, I rest my head on my elbow. She does the same, and we face each other. “You don’t want to know.”
“Sure, I do.”
“It’s not pretty. You already think I’m a degenerate.”
“I’ve never thought you were a degenerate.”
I pull a ‘I don’t believe you face’.
She gives a sheepish smile. “Okay, fine. Maybe at first. I’m used to squeaky clean, church-going men. You’re tall, dark and dangerous looking. I’ve learned never to judge a book by its cover because you are far from a degenerate.”
“You might change your mind.”
“I won’t,” she says with conviction. “I’d love to know how you’ve become so successful. How you got started.”
On a heavy sigh, I roll onto my back and stare up at the ceiling. “When me, Linc and Ash were old enough to leave the foster system, we made money from stealing shit and selling it to pawn shops. We hooked up with a guy who sold us coke on the cheap, and we tripled the price and sold it to deadbeats who didn’t know the difference between good drugs and bad. We kept stealing. Broke into houses, stole cars and stripped them to sell the parts. Did anything to make money. Then one day, Asher came and told us he’d been studying the stock market for months. He’s a numbers guy. He asked us if he could invest allour money. Within two years, we bought our first investment property. He then went on to invest in a couple of IT companies that blew up and made us a shit ton of money. It was like he had the magic touch. Our money and property kept growing and growing. We owe our success to his smart brain and good sense.” Now she knows the dark part of how we got to where we are, how long will it take her to pack up and leave me in the dust?
“Asher may have been good at investing money, but you all have built such a wonderful empire. You’re all amazing. I’m proud of you.”
I turn to stare at her. “Did you hear what I said? We stole from people. We dealt drugs. How can you be proud of me?” No one has ever told me they're proud of me except for Evan and Daisy. Two people who have come from such high morals, I’d expect them to judge me the most.
“Are you still dealing drugs and stealing?”
“No. We stopped as soon as we made legit money.”
She rolls over and rests her chin on my chest, looking up at me. “You didn’t come from a home that taught you right from wrong, and you did what you had to do to survive. Once you were in a good place, you could’ve kept going with that kind of life. Drugs are a big business, yet you gave it up when you made your own money. Because without anyone teaching you how to be a good human, it was always in you. In all of you. So, yes. I’m extremely proud.”
I swallow back a lump in my throat. Something softens inside me at how this woman can be so accepting.
“Most people would turn their noses up at my life, yet you’re telling me how proud you are?”
