“You’ll always keep things from me.”
“It has to be that way, if you really want to be with me.”
Kinsley twists in my arms and looks up at me, her palms press against my chest. “I didn’t expect this,” she whispers.
“What?”
“Falling for a rebel.” Her lip twitches.
“You’re falling for me?”
“Oh, fuck, I regret saying it already.”
She pushes me, hard enough to make me take a step back, but my arms are still around her, so she comes right along with me and we almost stumble.
No more words are said as she wraps her arms around my neck, gives me a quick squeeze, then pulls away.
I’m not ready to voice my feelings, and the way she stares into my eyes, to my soul, she lets me know I don’t have to.
“Come on,” she whirls around and hefts up her bag, which I quickly take out of her hands, making her eyes roll. “I need to get to the hospital, and you’ve got some murdering to take care of.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Kinsley
My thoughts are with Rebel as I hold Colton’s hand and stare at the blue and white pattern on his hospital gown. I should have brought him clothes too, some pajamas at least, but Rebel told me he’d barely got me access to the annex. The church is off-limits. That has more to do with the priests than the cops.
Guilt ripples through me at how much time I’ve spent thinking about myself when Colt is lying here fighting and Marisol is gone. My head says it was my fight-or-flight reaction. Finding out Rebel was shot instead of me furthered that reaction.
Now he’s gone to deal with the culprits, the guilt is engulfing everything else. Not even the realization I’ve let Rebel into my heart stops me spiraling.
Marisol has a family, two teenage sons she loved beyond anything else and a husband she adored. Given how she welcomed me and took care of Colt and the church, she will leave a huge hole.
Nero and the club doing what they can to make things a little less difficult to bear for her family is a kind gesture, but from experience,losing a family member that way is difficult to get over. I’ve never let go of how it felt finding out my dad was dead.
Mom leaving made it worse, but everyone had me convinced I was better off. How is it possible to hate and love someone equally?
Colt’s hand twitches in mine and I jerk in the seat, staring at our combined fingers. Was it an involuntary spasm? Another twitch has me standing and leaning over the bed.
“Colt?” I whisper. “Can you hear me?” I squeeze his fingers, waiting for another response, but nothing happens.
People always say you should talk when someone is like this, and all I’ve done is sit here and wallow in my misery. Raven has stayed with him, which I’m grateful for. She didn’t have to do that, but I appreciate it. She’s a talker and probably kept up a steady flow of one-sided conversation.
A groan makes me stand this time, his eyes flicker and a gurgling comes from his chest. I hit the emergency call button for the nurse. I’m not sure if he is waking or getting worse.
My heart palpitates so fast I get light-headed as a nurse comes in. She takes one look at me, hears the sounds Colt is making, then comes over to the bed.
“What is that sound? What’s wrong with him?”
“It’s the endotracheal tube, perfectly normal. Colton, can you hear me?” she asks. “You’re in the hospital and your cousin is here. If you can hear me, I want you to squeeze my fingers.”
I watch until his fingers twitch again. The nurse continues asking questions, and his eyelids flutter as if he’s trying to open them.
“Colt, it’s Kinsley, wake up. Can you open your eyes?”
When he blinks and lifts his lids, his eyes roll as he tries to come to. They ask me to step outside when a doctor comes in with another nurse. They close the door while they do their checks, reassuring me this is a good sign.
Taylor is coming back from getting us coffees, her shadow following. I was introduced to Ronin when Rebel left me, he whispered in my ear Ronin is not much of a talker, but he is the one man Nero trusts with Taylor’s life, which means that extends to me.
