"He makes them go away."
"I see."She nods in my periphery as I stare at the curve of her nose.Some part of me knew my demons aggravated hers.Hearing her confirm it makes my gut clench with unease.
"And when he's not there?"
A cat catches Sadie’s tongue and darts through the veil.This isn't one I can answer.She’ll have to face this one on her own while tension ebbs like a rogue riptide crashing at our backs.
Please don't say it...
"I want to die."
Seventy-two hours.
That’s how long we have to stay here with nosey eyes and awkward glances.I'm all for whatever it takes to help Sadie, but I sure would like to take her home.After what her body has gone through, she needs comfort and less micromanaging.We both see the microscope looming above her as people in white lab coats dissect her mind.
Uncertainty settled heavy in the room after the doc delivered her orders and left.Neither one of us spoke to the other for a couple of hours until I broke the silence and ordered food for her.Something light; didn't want to upset her stomach after not eating for several days.
On autopilot, Sadie inhaled the chicken broth and Jello dietary brought to the room.I was tempted to order her a second helping, or a double for dinner, but she finally warmed up and got comfortable enough to fall back asleep.Careful of her IV line and her blood pressure cuff, I tucked and wedged another blanket between her and the mattress—turned her into a damn burrito.
Of course, I took a moment to watch over her as tension melted out of her face and shoulders.It put me at ease, seeing her unguarded and asleep rather than medicated heavily enough she can't fight the pull of unconsciousness.
After she slipped into the fray and began to doze, my old habits kicked in.I tidied up the room, put supplies where they go, fixed the couch and my single blanket, her bedside table, took the trash and tossed it into the bin.I even managed to peek at my texts and put my laptop on the charger.When it was all said and done, I changed into a different pair of jeans, a new black undershirt, and the dark grey flannel I stuffed into my bag before leaving Oregon.Yeah, it’s wrinkled and has seen better days, but at least it’s clean.
Freshly dressed, I make my way over when I hear Sadie mumble.She’s still asleep, but a few words are trying to escape.Leaning over her, I stroke my fingers through her choppy hair, eager to hear more from her.
Joy spreads from my head down to my boot-hidden toes at the sound of her sleepy voice.It's so unlike the woman I know.Raspy, full of soul, primed to belt a song so earth shattering it brings tears to your eyes.Of every night I've slept tangled in the sheets with her, or the ones where I watched because I couldn't get phantom gunshots out of my ears, I've only heard this voice two or three times.
Like earlier, I graze my lips and my scruff along the soft skin at her temple.When one tender kiss isn’t enough, I tag her forehead next.I want to climb into this uncomfortable bed, ease her into my arms, and hold her until the damn things fall off.
Inhaling the deepest breath I can muster, Sadie pours into my lungs to fester and rot me from the inside out.
One more kiss is all I allow myself as it ghosts below her ear.I murmur with hope that she feels every ounce of weight the words carry.
"Don't you ever leave me."
Chapter twenty-nine
‘Lias
Lastnightwasabreeze.We both slept heavily through another early summer storm which clapped thunder and sent lightning glow radiating through the room at oh-two-hundred.
Before it rolled through, a lab tech and physical therapist knocked and slipped inside.One drew a few vials of blood as the other gently assessed Sadie's bandages.The nurses assured me that her wounds had closed enough not to bleed through, but at least the physio and I are on the same wave length—don't put it past Sadie to open them again.The therapist and Sadie, who was less than pleased at being woken up at the ass crack of dawn, checked her range of motion in both wrists and all ten fingers.
Low and behold, no permanent damage.I believe I was more relieved than she was.One day I might need one of those fingers.Who knows.
Thankfully food appeared before either of us went back to sleep—last thing the medical staff need is a pissed off, cranky Sunshine.
Scrambled eggs and turkey bacon hidden under food domes, which failed at keeping everything warm, quickly became her main focus.
With more color in her face than she's had in days, Sadie hovers over the bed tray with her legs crisscrossed beneath her.One ravenous bite after another, she shovels food into her mouth.Funny, I don't think she's come up for air once or swallowed the previous bite before getting another.
At least her appetite has returned, right?
"Slow down.You're going to choke," I speak up, watching my own eggs shift across the plate with every stab of my fork.
"Wouldn't be the worst thing."She gabs with cheeks full of toast.
"True.Let's not add another few days to your hospital stay.I'm sure you're as ready to go home as I am.”
