The asswipe turns red from his neck to his framed hairline.If this is how he acts with people who have a stronger spine than he has, it's no wonder Sadie has done nothing but deteriorate since she became his patient.
I knew she didn't like him, for whatever reason, but now I don't either.Not when my girl has become more and more fucked up in the past few months, or when we were sitting in his lobby waiting well past her appointment time, and now?My gut tells me my newfound dislike for a stranger is well deserved and directed appropriately.
A chainsaw couldn't cut the tension in the room.No skin off my back, really, I'm used to uncomfortable situations.The same can't be said for him, with the way he fidgets on his side of a glass coffee table decorated with a box of tissues, unused drink coasters, and a stack of pharmaceutical magazines.
Ten bucks says he would break in less than five minutes if I ever got him in a chair or strapped to the slab back in Oregon.
"Very well."The silence ultimately breaks."I suggest we increase her dosage for the time being.We can taper her to a lower dose once she mends from the injuries and we're able to come to some sort of compromise on her continuation of care."
"Are you suggesting she remains over sedated and dependent?How is that improving her quality of life?"
"She has to have a life to begin with, Mr.Sullivan.If she takes hers, then there's nothing to improve."
I clench my teeth so hard at the idea, my teeth threaten to crack under the pressure.While his words hold merit, they're brutal and efficient in delivering mass devastation.
"Fair," I bite, then look down at the woman cuddled against my side.She hasn't looked at him since we sat down.As far as she’s concerned, she doesn't exist in this room and I'm unsure if it's because of her medication or him.
"What sort of increase are we talking about, and what happens if it doesn't work?"
"Glad to hear you're going to err on the side of caution, Mr.Sullivan," the fucker says with a smug lit to his voice."Let's start by decreasing her Suvorexant, then increase her Risperdal and Lithium.Both will need to be processed by insurance which may take up to a week.I have emergency doses here to keep her stable until the new prescription can be filled."
Vacating his chair, he crosses over to a bookshelf behind his desk and keys open a locked set of cabinet doors.I lean to the side to see what he's after.Bottle after bottle of pills line the shelves inside.Some in traditional orange containers, others are larger mass quantities.He fetches two and closes the doors, securing them then slides the key into the front of his slacks.
"This bottle," he holds up the smaller of the two, "is Lithium.Have her take it twice a day.The other is Risperdal, once a day.No more, no less."
Our time must be up, as he doesn't bother returning to his seat.Instead, he grabs his prescription pad and writes out the new order for Sadie, leaving it next to the plain bottles.
"Whatever the hospital has her on, throw it out.You can dispose of unused medication at the pharmacy.They may even give you a discount for turning over her unused pills."
Off of the sofa, I haul Sadie up with me.Holding onto her bicep, I snatch up her new pills and the prescription without another word.She's on enough pills but what more can I do right now?The choices are to let her rot in a facility with strangers when I know how volatile she is, or take her home.
She’s not going anywhere without me—she’s mine.
Ticked off, I lead her out without looking back.All she seems to find are people who want to throw pills at her and mute who she is.
Where’s the girl who would spar me in the gym late at night?Because this woman is nowhere close to the one who wrapped me around every one of her delicate fingers.
Hot water burns down my back and over my shoulders as I loom under the shower head and its rain-like pour.I stand in silent punishment with my head tilted forward while the scorch abuses my skin and nerves.There are scars peppered across my body from knives, shrapnel, and bullets that managed to get too close.
There were moments in time where I threw dirt into the wounds, grabbed my rifle, and carried on with the mission.I put my body through more hell than the average person can withstand.Broken bones, jammed joints, dislocated shoulders.The list goes on.Not a single one of them compares to how exposed I feel with Sadie.
Holding on feels like I'm being squeezed by an iron maiden.Every direction I turn, pain erupts.For her, I'll face torture with my chin held high as long as she never has to again.
Droplets from my water-sodden hair trickle down then roll into my eyes, rinsing away the briny buildup from an earlier breakdown.Now I’m partially sheltered, having gone numb to a few things around me while the rest prepares for Sadie's road to redemption.
The bathroom’s humid when I finally step out, with damp surfaces and slippery condensation.Out of the shower, I wrap a towel around my hips, tucking the end to keep it from falling as I step out of the bathroom.Cooler air hits me when the door swings open, sending chills ricocheting through me.My hairs stand on end, goosebumps trail behind, but that’s not what makes me stop in my tracks.It’s her, Sadie, standing there while a cloud of steam follows me beyond the threshold.
"Hey, Sunshine, everything alright?"
She shakes her head.The short strands I already miss sway gently with the movement.Like Icarus, I fly so close to my sun I don't feel the burn until it's too late.
Cradling her face, twin thumbs brush over her cheeks and tilt her head back.I keep her stead as I dip in and kiss her ever so gently.I’ll never stop treating her this way.I’llnevermake her think she’s unlovable.
White hot agony slashes through my abdomen, jerking me away from her lips.Seconds tick as my wild eyes finally rips away from her emotionless face to see where pain has exploded deep in my flesh.
She's death-gripping a knife.Before words ever find their way, she pulls back and plunges the blade again.
Chapter thirty-four
