“I don’t think our hands touching will alert the media.”
I scowl at him, fighting the sinking sensation of my heart as I remember that tonight’s freak-out will likely be talked about everywhere by tomorrow, if it isn’t already happening. “You don’t know that.”
He leans forward, and tingles dance down my shoulders as he inhales me. “If you want, we can really give them something to talk about.”
“Oh, yeah?” I challenge him. “I doubt anything could top my performance tonight.” I cross my arms, swallowing hard as his cologne fills my lungs, curling my toes in my boots.
His fingers brush my side. “Hey, don’t do that. Anyone who’s been through what you have would react the same to a dogpile in the crease. It could’ve happened to anyone.”
The words are leaving my lips before I can stop them. “It only happened because it was you.”
“What?” Matt whispers, and suddenly, I want to throw up.
“Oh, umm, nothing. Never mind.”Oh my God, Shay, you idiot. “I’m excited for dinner.”
Thank God he doesn’t push that further.
“Me too.”
Silence awkwardly consumes us while the elevator comes to a stop and we make our way to the Uber Matt ordered. My ears ring the entire way to the restaurant as Matt makes small talk with our driver.
When the car pulls up in front of the place, it looks empty, like they might be closed. But the lights are on, and I see staff inside.
“Are they closing early or something? I thought they were usually open fairly late,” I ask nervously, worried we might’ve arrived at the wrong location or something.
“They’re open, I promise.” Matt’s voice is confident as he opens the door, and I slide out after him.
He offers me his hand to help me out of the car and up onto the curb. I shouldn’t take it, but I do, and electricity sparks between us as I slide my fingers onto his.
“O-okay,” I stutter as he leads the way to the front door, and we are greeted immediately by a man in a suit.
“Good evening. Are you Mr. MacArthur?” he asks Matt, who nods with a shit-eating grin on his face.
“Yes, sir.”
He slides his hand around my waist, and I jerk at the almost-foreign sensation. It’s been a long time since anyone has really touched me, but feeling his strong grip circle me swirls something deep in my core.
The maître d’ smiles and steps back, letting us inside. “We are honored to have you as guests tonight. We promise to make this an unforgettable experience.”
I’m frozen in place, confused for a number of reasons, but mostly at what the hell is going on as Matt takes my hand in his, interlocking our fingers. He gently tugs me forward, but I stay rooted in place.
“Matt,” I aggressively whisper, and he turns back to me, giving me his full attention. “You can’t hold my hand. Andy and Carrington are here.”
He bites down on his bottom lip and winces. “About that.”
My stomach flips. “What?”
His hands slip beneath the collar of my suit jacket, and he helps me out of it, hanging it on the coat rack, along with his.
“I might have lied to you about who’s joining us at dinner.” Reaching forward, he takes my hand again, tugging me closer to him. “They’re not coming. No one is. The place is ours tonight, ours alone.”
I’m … I’m speechless. I have a thousand words forming in my mind, of ways to tell him how horrible of an idea all of this is.How we can’t do this.How it’ll be too much of a distraction. But he continues before I get a word out.
“I saw you post about this place a few times and thought you might enjoy a quiet dinner.” He says it like it’s so simple, so effortless, like it isn’t the most genuine and sweet thing anyone has ever done for me. “Personally, I’d like to think of this as our first official date. But if you want to keep pretending like we aren’t going to end up together, I guess we can do that too?—”
My hands are cupping his face, emotions tearing through me like a tornado. I’ve never felt about anyone the way I feel about Matt. I’ve never wanted to give anyone the chance. But he’s found cracks in my armor and seeped between them, invading my being with his heart and soul.
We shouldn’t be here, we shouldn’t do a lot of the things we already have, but I don’t want to run from this anymore. I’m tired, and all I want right now is to feel everything I do for him. And I want to show him.
