“I’m finishing up. About to head out. What’s up? You’re awake early.”
Her smile is clear in her tone. “I wanted to call you before you left so we could chat for a few before you’re zipping off to Montreal again. My little jet-setter.”
It’s sort of funny that when you’re growing up, you don’t want to be considered young or a little kid. You want to be an adult and treated as such. But once you reach a certain age, you realize that everyone is just a kid to someone else. Some days, I’d give anything to go back to just being my mom’s baby. No responsibility, no job, no stress, just free.
“Mom”—I laugh softly—“please don’t put that on a T-shirt.”
She recently got back into her crafting hobbies, including using her Cricut machine to make cute and silly T-shirts for everyone in our family.
She scoffs, as if I really offended her. “I would not put that on a shirt.” She pauses. “A cup maybe, but not ashirt.”
“Oh, right, because ashirtis the crazy part of that suggestion.” Tossing the last few things into my suitcase, I zip it shut and set it on the floor, pulling the handle up and locking it into place.
“You said you like my shirts.” She huffs, and my heart swells because I know damn well I packed one of those shirts to sleep in.
“I love them, Mom. I’m just teasing you,” I exhale, walking over to Kyle’s dog bed, where he’s lying and staring up at me with the whites showing beneath his eyes. “Don’t give me that look, Kyle. I will be back soon, and your sitter will be here in an hour to be with you the wholllle time.”
“Tell him Grandma and Grandpa might come visit tonight. That’ll make him feel better,” my mom chimes in, and his ears perk up at her voice.
Kyle’s favorite person in the world is me, but a close second is my mom and then my dad. I truly think Kyle sees them as his grandparents. It’s the cutest goddamn thing in the world.
“He heard you, so now you have to come over. I’ll let her know.” I drop to my knees and waddle onto the bed next to him. It’s a good thing I haven’t changed yet into my travel set, or it’d be covered in hair for the flight.
“We’ll be by. Don’t worry,” she says, as if I was worrying about her breaking her word. She sighs, the only kind a parent does when they are about to say something they aren’t sure they should. “I’m so proud of you for taking this job, honey. It’s such a good step and opportunity for you. You should be incredibly proud of yourself too.”
My eyes burn, and I wiggle my nose and mouth, trying to stop the emotion in its tracks. “Thanks, Mom. I am.”
I haven’t checked all the boxes I want to yet. I still need to be able to get onto the ice and eventually get comfortable enough to stay on it. But I will. I can do it. Then there’s the other part of this job that’s complicated too … Matt.
“What’s on your mind? I can tell you’re holding back.” There’s that sixth sense again.
There’s no point in lying to her. She’ll sniff out the truth somehow. She always does.
“It’s a complicated situation, Mom, okay? So, don’t freak out on me when I tell you.”
And it’s too late because she’s already squealing and cutting me off.
“Is it about a boy?” she whispers like he’s going to somehow hear.
I chuckle, petting Kyle as his eyes drift closed. “Yeah. But like I said … it’s not simple.”
She gasps. She’s somehow already put the pieces together. “Because he plays for the team. Oh, this is juicy, like one of my soaps. Who is he? What’s his name? I’ve been studying the roster.”
God, I love her, but this issonot helping.
Groaning, I answer, “Matt.”
I can barely get his name out before she gasps again. “Oh, and he’s one of the goalies? Even better.”
“Mom!” I scoff. “This is not one of your shows. This is my life, and it’s messy, so stop enjoying it so much. Nothing is going to happen with him anyway.”
Taking a deep breath, she seems to calm her excitement down. “First off, you are right, and I’m sorry I got carried away. Secondly, do you not want something to happen?”
“It’s”—I sigh—“not that simple.”
“My question sure is that simple. What’s your answer? Take the what-ifs and variables out of the context. What’s your answer?” She challenges me again, forcing me to face my own feelings and not avoiding it altogether because of the external circumstances.
Kyle mlems, and my heart contracts.
