“Oh, honey, we love you too.” Her voice breaks, and it shatters me in a whole new way. “Oh, I think he’s waking up from his nap. I’m going to get the doctor, okay? I’ll check in a little later.”
“Okay.” I nod, running my hand down my face, wiping away the tears. “That sounds good. I love you.”
“I love you too, sweetie,” she coos, and the call ends, three beeps sounding in my ear.
“Fuck,” I curse, dropping my phone to my lap as I lean my head back against the wall, letting my eyes wander the ceiling aimlessly.
Guilt swirls with self-loathing inside me, but I try to remember my mom’s words as best I can. She’s not wrong.
It’s because of my job that they got to retire ten years early and travel together. It’s because of my job that they have a weekly cleaner, chef, and caregiver. But somehow, that still feels like the easy way to care, and it still doesn’t seem like enough.
I let myself come down from whatever I’m feeling, tracing a circle on the rubber floor until I swear I burn a mark in its place. But eventually, I peel myself up off of the ground, still wearing my pads and gear, aside from my mask and gloves.
I’ve never wanted to be home, buried beneath the sheets and sleeping, as badly as I do right now. But first, I need to wash this stench from my body and soul.
The locker room is empty, and even the lights are off when I walk in, which means everyone is long gone. Jeez, how long was I dissociating in the other room? I thought it was maybe a half hour, tops, but it must’ve been longer because the cleaning crew has already come through.
I flick the lights on and shed my gear, stowing it in my stall. My hip aches as I lean back, stretching my sore body out. God, I swear practices and games have been running me ragged more than normal lately. It’s certainly not for lack of fitness. I’m in the best shape of my damn life.
“Shit,” I mutter to myself, mustering up enough energy to walk to the showers.
Part of me wanted to wait to shower until I got home, but I know the second I got into my car, I would smell myself and regret that decision. A quick rinse and hair wash, and I can head home and crawl into my bed.
My bare feet pad on the floor, welcoming the cool tiles as the flooring changes over. I round the corner, and the faint sound of trickling water fills my ears. Someone must’ve left one of the showers running. Goddamn wasteful idiots. I’m surprised maintenance didn’t turn it off when they came in.
Oh well. Not my circus, not my monkeys. I’ll kill it when I get in there though because I’m not a complete ass.
My gaze is on the tiles, and I mentally count them without thought as I wander down the shower entrance hallway. A shelf of perfectly folded towels stands against it, with wastebaskets and laundry hampers at its side.
A shiver runs down my spine, goose bumps erupting along my naked body as a cool chill takes over. Thankfully, I’ll be beneath scorching hot water soon enough.
I blow out a breath, my lips vibrating as I turn the corner into the shower room, where heads line the wall, each with their own control beneath it.
“What the hell are you doing in here?” The words fall from my lips in a gasp, my eyes struggling to make sense of the image before me.
Curvy hips, a perfectly rounded ass, creamy white thighs, and legs that seem to go on for days. My eyes trail back up in the blink of an eye as the soaked wet red hair whips around, Shay turning to face me … completely naked and dripping wet.
A shriek tears through the room as her eyes bulge out of her head like a cartoon. “What are you doing in here?! Oh my God!”
“Oh my God …” My version is far deeper. “And this ismylocker room. What do you mean?”
“My-my water went out at my apartment. Everyone was already gone, so I figured I’d have it to myself …” She trails off, her gaze dropping to my chest.
I try to fight it—I do—but the image is already perfectly burned into my mind. Her full, hanging breasts. Nipples taut and staring me down. My mouth waters at the delicious image.
Fucking hell.
My dick twitches to life, and her eyes fly down to it, somehow widening more as her head cocks to the side. Her cheeks and body flush instantly, like a chameleon changing its color. “Matt?—”
Smirking, I glance down for a split second before meeting her gaze. “Like what you see?”
Her mouth is open, and she’s frozen, standing and staring at me, water trailing down her body in the same way I desperately wish to explore. Jesus Christ. My knees tremble at the image before me.
“What the hell are you doing?!” she screeches and gasps. Her gaze clears, like she’s snapping back to reality. Quickly, shecovers herself, an arm across her chest and hand flying down. “Get out!”
Shaking my head, I knock sense back into my mind and body, smacking myself on the forehead. “Oh, sorry! Shit!” Turning on my heel, I race away, miscalculating how far I am from the wall, and instead of striding into the walkway, I run headfirst into the tile-covered concrete.
No, that’s fine. I wanted to see how much more I could embarrass myself today. Thanks, universe.
