“You sound like Dad. ‘Make good choices, son.’” Nigel deepened his voice and lifted his shoulders, making his frame wider to better mimic our dad and what he’d say to us when we were growing up.
“Option number one is that you do nothing. You do nothing, you say nothing, you are Zen. You are peace. You do your wedding, you tie the knot. Simon will be there or he won’t, and you can’t control that.”
Nigel made a face. “I’ve been doing that already. Can’t say that it fixed anything.”
“That’s why option two exists. If Simon won’t come to you, you go to Simon.”
“Yeah, and then what?”
“It’s up to you, but I’d tell him how I felt about him. About how this is affecting you. You tell him that you miss his friendship, and you ask if there’s any way forward.”
He screwed up his face, wrinkling his nose. “I don’t think I like that one.”
“Whether you want them to or not, things between the two of you are going to change. But not acknowledging something doesn’t make it go away.”
Just like not acknowledging the ever-deepening feelings I had for Perry didn’t make them magically go away. We still hadn’t talked about what was going to happen after the wedding. All I knew was that this was supposed to end with Nigel’s wedding, but I didn’t think I ever wanted to let Perry go. I didn’t want to go back to being strangers, and I didn’t want to just be friends who fucked. But at this moment, I couldn’t think about my problems. Not with Nigel sitting across from me looking like he was going to step in front of a firing squad.
I took a sip of my Coke and kind of wished I’d had them add some rum to it after all. “Look, not saying anything is why you’re here with that look on your face.” I leaned forward, folding myarms on the table in front of me. “Nigel, level with me. Do you want to marry Trevor or do you just want to be married? Is this some kind of not-quite midlife crisis where you’re ready to move on to the next stage in your life so badly that you’re willing to choose someone who might not be the right person?”
Before Nigel could answer, I leaned back and pinned him with a look. “Don’t answer. Just think about it. And while you think about that, also think about getting onion rings as a side, I’ll get fries, and we can share.”
Nigel gave me a weak but grateful smile for allowing him the option to not talk about it anymore. “I always did think better on a full stomach.”
He turned his attention to the menu, and I took a moment to just look at him and hope that he’d make the right decision.
TWENTY-SIX
PERRY
Fortunately for me,Nigel’s wedding was semi-formal, which gave me some leeway in the fashion department. As someone whose career centered around taking my clothes off, I didn’t get a lot of opportunities to dress up. Which was silly, actually. If people could pretend to be plumbers, I could pretend to be at a wedding and fucking my way through the groomsmen.
Note to self—talk to Lukas about a new series idea for the studio.
I dressed in a pair of white pants—the internet said it was okay—a white shirt, and a mulberry blazer. I went with classic brown for the belt and the shoes and even tossed on a bit of eyeliner. Though most times I didn’t feel the need to use makeup, I still liked to dabble in it now and then when the occasion called for it.
I’d even splurged and bought a bottle of Dior that smelled of cinnamon and nutmeg and that I applied sparingly.
I should be dreading the day, because after this, my fake relationship was set to end. But I’d made up my mind not tolet it. By the end of tonight, one way or another, I was going to confess to Rex that this was more real than pretend and had been for a long time for me. Hell, I wasn’t entirely sure that it was ever pretend for me.
Gumball tried to get close to me, but the poor wee beast didn’t understand that he was black and my clothes were white and that cat hair wasn’t a welcome accessory. I did relent and gave him scratches behind the ears and a few extra treats while I paced my apartment, waiting for Rex to arrive.
I could have met him at the venue, but he insisted on picking me up. Instead of marrying in a church, Nigel had chosen the university’s botanical garden. It wasn’t the most popular place to get married because you needed special permissions and the days you could do it were restricted, but Nigel knew a guy who knew a guy who got them a date.
Rex knocked on my door five minutes and too many cat treats later looking like a million bucks in his dark gray ensemble. His pants were a matching shade to his blazer, but his shirt was white. He opted not to wear a tie and had a pocket square that perfectly matched my mulberry jacket.
Reaching for him, I traced my fingers over the silk and shot him a warm smile. “That’s why you wanted to know the color of my blazer.”
“I wanted us to look like we belong together, without doing the whole matching outfit thing.”
“You don’t want to dress exactly like me?” I pretended to pout.
“Only if you’re wearing your birthday suit. Then I’ll match you any time.”
I pushed Rex away from me in a playful way, grinning from ear to ear. Being around him was the easiest thing I’d ever done.
“We’re going to be late.”
Rex only smiled at me, bent down and said hello to Gumball, scratching him behind the ears. “Okay,” he said, straightening up. “Now we can go.”
