“I see goats from time to time. And there’s a ranch out of town that has called me in the past if they can’t get their usual horse guy out in time. But mostly I see household pets. I also work with the animal shelters and their spay/neuter initiatives.”
“Do you have a favorite patient?”
“I mean, I don’t want to see animals in my practice often because that usually means they’re sick or hurt. But there’s this little French Bulldog named Captain Jack. He has a list of health issues half a mile long, but his owners love him. They bring him in fairly regularly for check-ups and he’s the life of the party. So much personality is packed into his little body.”
We stood and continued our walk, veering toward a trash can and disposing of our ice cream containers. Perry naturally fell into step next to me. Grabbing my arm, he draped it around his shoulders.
“Would it be too forward to ask you some questions about your work?”
Perry scoffed. “Of course not. I’m an open book. What do you want to know?”
“Well, how long have you been…” I searched for a better way to phrase it, but Perry beat me to the punch.
“You can say porn star. It’s not insulting. It’s literally what I am. I star in porn.”
“Why? I mean, I wanted to be a zookeeper when I was a kid, and then I wanted to be a marine biologist, and then I wantedto be a veterinarian. I don’t imagine porn star is on the list of careers young Perry was dreaming of when he was a kid.”
He let out an inelegant laugh. “When I was a kid, I wanted to be a firefighter. They were cool as hell, you know. They got to drive fire trucks and save kittens and run into burning buildings. And TV made them look even more badass. But as you can see, I am not a firefighter.”
“Why not?”
“Asthma. Not all the time. Like mine doesn’t come out of nowhere, but if I exercise too hard or if my lungs get irritated, like with smoke, for example, it’s not fun. And I like breathing and being alive, so no firefighter dreams for me.”
“I’m sorry. That’s tough.”
“There are worse fates.”
“Firefighter to porn star is quite the career jump. How did you make that leap?”
“When I came out, I wasn’t exactly smart or discerning about who and where I hooked up and it got me into a bit of trouble. Not with the law or anything, but there were a couple times when I walked away from an encounter feeling… unsafe.
“I met Blue by chance one night at a club and he was… well, you’ve met Blue. You know what he’s like. We hit it off and I made a pass at him, but he said that he didn’t have sex outside of work and that’s when I asked him what he did. And I didn’t hate the idea of it. I’d done a little bit of solo stuff and tossed it online but nothing professional.”
“You got into porn because you wanted to fuck Blue?”
Perry nodded. “Basically.”
He came to a stop and looked at me. His brow furrowed, and I saw the way he chewed on his bottom lip. “You don’t mind that I’ve fucked him, do you? I know that might be weird for you because he’s your employee.”
“I sort of assumed that because you both are in the same line of work that there may have been some intimate contact.”
“Sorry, I know I keep asking if it’s okay. And I know it shouldn’t matter because even if you minded, this is all just pretend anyway. But a lot of guys say they’re okay with being with a guy who does porn, but what they mean is that they’re okay with being with a guy who is good at sex. They try to leave out the fact that it means I have sex with other people too.”
“It sounds like you're speaking from experience.”
Perry looked so dejected that I felt compelled to slip my hand into his. Weaving our fingers together, I squeezed gently. Perry looked down at our hands, then up at me and his smile transformed into something softer and more hopeful.
“Here’s to new experiences,” he said, and it was almost like he was drifting closer. Like we were magnets being pulled toward each other by an invisible force.
“May they be better than the old ones,” I finished.
If this were a real date, the perfect moment to kiss him would’ve been right now. It would be so easy to just step closer and slant my mouth down over his.
But despite how much fun I was having and how easy it was to be with Perry, this wasn’t a real date and he wasn’t mine to kiss.
EIGHT
PERRY
