“Pretty sure that’s not how that works, but thank you for trying.”
The door to the green room opened and Lukas stepped inside. He looked at the three of us like he was examining us. We were all tangled up together in some way, and Lukas must have liked whatever he saw because he smiled softly as he started to speak.
“The room is all set up and ready when you three are.” Lukas stopped and looked at his phone for a long moment, then looked back at us. “I see that all three of you have filed new test results, so I’ll trust you to decide if you’re going to use condoms or not.”
“Give us a few minutes, Lukas?” I asked, though it wasn’t really a question.
He nodded. “Take all the time you need.”
Once Lukas had left and the door shut behind him, I looked Asher in the eyes.
“Tell us what you want, and we’ll make it happen.”
He looked at me, then at Jax, then at his lap. His cheeks turned pink and it spread up to the tips of his ears and down his neck. He didn’t speak for another minute or so, and when he did, his voice was small and tentative.
“I trust you,” he said. “Both of you.” He looked at Jax, then at me. “I want to not make any decisions about this other than the fact that I want you bare. I understand if you feel that puts a lot of pressure on you.”
“It’s fine,” Jax said. “It’s not a lot of pressure. It’s a very small amount of pressure. Blue and I know what we’re doing. And if at any time you need a break, or if something isn’t working, you just tell us.”
“What if I mess up?”
“You won’t.” I combed my fingers through Asher’s hair again. “And if you do, know that we have all messed up at some point and that no one will be mad or upset or think less of you or judge you in any way if you need to stop.”
Asher nodded, then let out a little groan. Raking his hands down his face, he sucked in a deep breath, then exhaled forcefully as he pulled his hands away again.
“Okay. I’m as ready as I’m ever going to get.” He pushed himself to his feet. “Let’s do this.”
NINE
ASHER
It should have beenweird to know that I was about to have sex, on camara, in front of the guy I’d been crushing on instead of with the guy I’d been crushing on. Things between Lukas and me were strained and awkward unless it had to do with work. And then it was like we were still a team. Like my embarrassing pass at him hadn’t mattered enough to let it affect our working relationship. A working relationship that seemed to extend to the new dynamic of me in front of the camera, not behind it.
I’m sure some people thought I was only going through with this to try and make Lukas see me as a sexual being. As someone mature enough to be worthy of his attention. Maybe that had been my reason some of the time, but the truth was that I wanted to see what it was like. Leo had made a career in this industry, in no small part so he could look after me. I’d never know if it was something he regretted or not because he was gone now…
I shook my head, took a deep breath, and told myself not to be weird. The last thing I wanted was to make more bad impressions on Jax and Blue. They’d been great after what happened at the screen test when I’d managed to make a proper fool of myself.
“You ready?” Lukas asked, poking his head outside.
Before he could launch into the wholeyou know you don’t have to do this, no one will think less of you if you back outspeech, I nodded and found a smile that didn’t feel completely forced.
“I’ve been ready for two years, Lukas.”
He nodded but didn’t address my comment or the tone of my voice, which had come out a little harsher than intended. Maybe I was a bit nervous. The nerves had helped me not to blow my load as I’d thoroughly cleaned, stretched, and lubed myself that morning in preparation for filming.
“Okay, then. When I go inside, listen for the action cue, wait ten seconds, then come inside.”
“Got it.”
We’d planned the intro of the scene, and we’d discussed what kinds of things I was open to. But for the most part, I was choosing to put my trust in Jax and Blue. And Lukas.
Though I had begun to understand and accept the fact that Lukas and I had no romantic future, I still trusted him in all the ways I used to. And maybe some new ones, though I put that thought out of my head to deal with later.
I heard the cue and waited to the count of ten, then practically flung the door open in a bout of nerves and went careening into the room, slamming right into Jax.
“Sorry,” I said, meaning it. I hadn’t planned on crashing into him quite so hard, but I did like the way Jax immediately gripped me in his hands even as I tried to go around him.
“Hey, what’s the rush?” he asked, pulling me closer. He was wearing a pair of those basketball shorts that seemed to make up ninety percent of his wardrobe. The good thing was they didn’t hide anything and when he pulled me closer, his cock pressed against me, harder and hotter than I’d expected.
