“Did you want to try that again?” Jax asked. “Because it’s okay to not be okay.”
I let out a scoff. “I promise it’s not serious. I’ll get over it.” Besides, Jax had my number. At any point in the last few days, he could have called me. He could have checked up on me before now if he was concerned.
I stopped in my tracks, which made Jax stop and look at me. I could see the worry in his expression, and the curiosity. “What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Did Lukas ask you to check on me?” As much as I wanted to appreciate the thought, the idea that Jax had only sought me outbecause Lukas told him to was enough to make me want to bring up every last ounce of coffee I’d drank.
Jax rolled his eyes. “Lukas only directs what I do when the camera is rolling.”
The urge to be sick passed as quickly as it came. I nodded and started walking again. Jax fell into step next to me, and we were silent for a few minutes. Then he let out a deep sigh.
“He did ask me to check up on you the other day, but it was right after it happened. He just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
I stopped and stared at Jax, feeling like I’d just been slapped. “So the other day with you and Blue. You were told to check on me.”
I tried to walk away, but Jax stepped in my way and grabbed me by my upper arms. “Asher, yes, he asked us to check on you, but that’s not why we did. And that’s not why I’m here now.”
“Why are you here now?” I asked, trying to shake him loose again, but it only made Jax pull me in closer. “You did your job. I’m fine. You can go now.”
My heart slammed against my ribs and Jax’s proximity to me, the grip he had on my arms, the way he looked at me with all his focus, all his attention, it made me want things. Like his mouth on mine. I wanted him to kiss me dizzy. Kiss me until I couldn’t think of Lukas or how stupid I’d been. Or how much that wound still hurt.
“I don’t want to go,” he said, his mouth somehow closer to mine. And then I realized we were on a street. In public.
“Jax…” I glanced around and he got my hint, suddenly pulling away from me. Holy fuck, did that suck. It was like the sun going behind a cloud.
“Let me walk you to your car,” he said after a second and when I nodded, he gifted me with a dazzling smile.
I fell into step next to him, and we didn’t talk at all on the way back to my car. I’d parked in a small parking lot just down the street from the diner. Jax’s car was parked there too, I realized as he escorted me to my car.
I stopped at the driver’s side door but didn’t reach for my keys. I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want to go home where there was no one to be with. I didn’t want to leave Jax’s company. I didn’t want to be alone, but I didn’t know how to say that to someone.
Ever since Leo died, I hated being alone. I could manage it, but I didn’t like it. I hated cooking for one. I hated eating by myself. And I hated that I’d fucked things up with Lukas because he was used to me coming over at random times and staying until I was too tired to drive. If he saw through me, he had the decency not to call me on it.
And there was that worried look on Jax’s face again.
“You okay?”
“I’m—”
“Don’t say you’re fine if you’re not.” Jax moved closer, practically trapping me against my car. He was taller than me, and I had to look up at him to meet his gaze.
I’d be better if he kissed me. I’d be better if I had something to think about besides my empty apartment. I’d be better if I could make the words come out and confess that I didn’t want to be alone.
“I’m just wondering if you’re here because you want to be or because Lukas asked you to be.”
Jax reached for me and cupped my face. “What do you think?” he asked, and then his mouth was on mine and it was just as soft as I remembered it. He drew me closer and deepened the kiss, and the longer it went, the more it was like the kiss from the screen test. Sweet and exploring. He wasn’t pushing for more. He was kissing me like he wanted it to last for hours.
When he pulled away, his thumb brushed against my lips.
“I think that I should get going,” I said in spite of part of me not wanting to leave. It was clear from that kiss that Jax was attracted to me, but in a workplace kind of way. In a way that would help us get the job done but nothing more. He’d kissed me exactly the way he had at the screen test, and though it was good, great even, arousing, toe-curling, dick-hardening—it was still just pretend to him.
Jax took a step back, looking troubled about something, but I wasn’t about to stop and ask what. “Don’t think you’re getting away that easy, Ashy.”
Before I could try and decipher his statement, Jax spoke again. “I’m going to text you and you’re going to text me back, okay? Because that’s what friends do.”
Friends. Right.
I pulled my keys out of my pocket and hit the button to unlock my car.
