He sets me down on his mattress, pulling the blanket over me. His knuckles brush my cheek, and heat unfurls low in my stomach at the quick, affectionate gesture. I want to sink into him again, but he walks away as quickly as the thought comes.
As loneliness and heartache talk, fear and safety collide in my chest until I can’t tell them apart, and for the first time since Joe’s accident, I don’t feel entirely alone.
I hear the scrape of a drawer opening, and the air in my lungs shifts as he crosses back into the room, wearing just a shirt and boxers.
The mattress dips behind me and his hand lands on my waist over the towel. I freeze but don’t move. His breaths steadies, as if that’s enough for him, as if that’s all he needs. I force my eyes closed, his words sinking like an anchor in my chest,
Because I need to keep an eye on you.
Seventeen
Liam
Her body is a curl of heat inches from mine. She hasn’t moved all night, not once, and I fight the urge to lean closer to the soft skin of her back and trace my fingers down her spine. My hand twitches in the space between us, reaching without touching.
I should’ve slept on the couch. Should’ve left her in Joe’s bed, where she belongs, with his ghost hanging over her. Should’ve done a hundred things I didn’t do, instead I brought her back to my bed.
At first, I felt infuriated. What the fuck is she doing to herself with that blade? But then I saw the raw pain in her eyes, the bloodshed of grief choking her, and I knew all too well what that feels like. I saw my trepidation in her dark eyes, and I wanted to take it away, not for her, but for me.
I didn’t even have to consider it, and I dived right into her bloody bath. She needed me and I’m a moron wanting to be needed. She is still Joe’s, still the reason he was on that bike, still the one face I swore I’d never want.
I drag my palm across my stubbled jaw. My mind screams for distance, for escape, but my body remains anchored beside her as her steady breathing fills my darkness.
She finally stirs, rolling onto her back, the towel gaping looser now across her chest. Her lashes flutter, lips parting on a small, groggy sound that goes straight to my gut. Her almond eyes blink open, black magic landing on me, wide, still glazed with sleep. The warmth in my chest turns to ice, she is too poisonous. I shove myself upright, swinging my legs off the bed and into some sweatpants, putting space between us like it can erase the night.
“You can go back to sleep.” I can’t let her have more of me or think there is anything here worth holding onto.
Luckily, I have to leave town to find the pieces of shit that are impeding me from getting so close to everything I’ve worked for. I could’ve gotten more information out of that prick yesterday before shooting him, but she showed up unannounced and that didn’t go too well either.
Damien cleaned up the bloody mess with our guys before I brought her back home, but now I have more work to do. She is simply messing up every aspect of my life.
“Don’t get used to any of this, I want you out when you're ready.” I add, forcing the words like knives.
I don’t wait for her reply. Don’t dare look back. I cross the room, grab my cigarettes from the dresser, and leave before I do something even more fucking stupid. Behind me, the silence stretches with hers, mine, amongst other things we keep quiet of what needs to stay buried.
Later, when I go back into the house towards the bedroom, I am relieved to see that she is out of bed, and yet… The eyesight rips something away. I go to the bathroom, but she isn't there either.
Where the fuck is she?
She’s a loose cannon and goddammit, I'm not about to babysit this girl and her demons dancing around her.She shouldn’t be in my house, not in my world, not with what she saw yesterday.
I walk out onto the yard, the lemon trees invade my senses, the pool glitters under the morning sun, all turquoise and glassy calm, while Sara dangles her feet in the water like no big deal, like she isn’t in the presence of akiller.
Finding her makes me instantly breathe out, and that little enlightenment bothers me. I fight the urge to carve my name on her, so no other men will ever want her.
I move toward her carefully, and she speaks without looking back.
“Don’t worry, I was about to leave.” I haven't seen her face yet, but I need to, need to look at her, to drown in her, to purge her from my system. She must've found some clothes she left in Joe's room, and I feel a weird pinch knowing she had any kind of life with my brother.
I close the final distance between us, and she tilts her head up in her black tee and denim shorts. Her eyelashes catch the light, her dark orbits staring back at me with a promise to read my deprived desires and worship them.
“And you need to stay away,” I threaten. “And very, very fucking quiet about what you saw.”
Her brows knit, her chin tilts stubbornly.
“I’m not stupid, Liam, something’s going on.” Biting her lip, she hesitates. “I found—”
“You think you understand? You don’t. These are men who don’t blink at burning down entire families. You breathe a word, Sara, and it won’t just be you they come for.”
