The emotions swirling behind his dark brown eyes.
“What? No, no, he’s not. He’s going to be okay, but it was very close to his heart. He got out of surgery a few hours ago,” Damien says.
How many hours had I been out?
“So, he’s going to be okay?” I ask, gasping a sob.
Damien squeezes my hand and looks as genuine as I’d ever seen him, pain and relief all in one. “He’s going to be okay, Sara.”
“Oh, thank God,” I say my hand on my chest.
“Are you going to be okay?” the man asks, who I presume is the doctor. “Would you like me to check that?” He points to my forehead.
“No, I’m fine, thank you. Can I lie next to him?” I ask shyly, eyes stinging.
“Yes, don’t move him and be careful with his bandage. Keep an eye for blood, swelling, redness. Here’s his antibiotic and pain management. He’ll need it.” I nod and thank him as Damien walks him out.
Joe walks over, a kitchen cloth wiping his hands like he’s done the dishes and is back into civilization.
“Should I stay over, or can you handle it?” Damien asks Joe. Clearly, they’ve talked about his ghost coming back to the living, and one question truly burns on my tongue: Who did we even bury?
“No thanks, I’ve got it. I’m here now.” His eyes land on mine, and my body shivers.
Damien nods and looks at me, waiting to see if I’m okay with this. No, is what I want to scream because none of this is okay, and although I nod back, appreciating Damien’s concern, I'm hiding how lost I feel and look down at Liam.
“Come by tomorrow. We need to talk more,” Joe tells Damien, and he silently replies but I don’t see what, and I hope he agrees to it, because being here alone with Joe and Liam is not something I’m remotely prepared for.
The sound of footfalls, followed by the soft touch of fingers moving my hair away from my forehead,wakesme. I open my eyes to darkness, the moonlight projects an almost peaceful surrounding, but the man standing before memakes my heart stall and my chest tightens instantly.
Joe’s fingers slowly brush my cheek, tracing my jaw down to my collarbone before removing the covers very slowly. His gaze never leaves mine as he lowers his hand over my white nightgown, tracing my breast over the material, my nipples hardening at his touch. I can’t breathe. I’m completely paralyzed.
I stare into his eyes, trying to decipher what he intends to do.
When he takes my hand and presses it to the hard ridge of his erection over his jeans, a panic takes hold.
“Joe, I… I can’t…”
“It’s okay.” He lowers himself to the side of the bed and bunches up my nightgown, revealing my underwear, and I shake my head.
“Joe, no… I…”
I’m not even sure I want him to stop.
I finally look around, and Liam is sleeping peacefully next to me, his breathing steady. I extend my arm and flatten my hand against his forehead, making sure he doesn’t have a fever. My breath catches when Joe’s lips reach my neck, kissing me softly, each kiss lingering as he inhales every inch of my skin. His hands find my hips, and his mouth drags kisses over my underwearand up to my navel. He stops there, his hands and lips resting lovingly against my stomach.
“My home…You’re my home,” he says so quietly and passionately.
I swallow hard, closing my eyes at his words, the lump in my throat threatening to choke me. I bring my hand to the back of his head and then retreat. I feel the wrongness of it and the rightness of it like two frequencies that won’t resolve. I swallow again, threading my fingers through his hair. His head falls to my chest as if my touch relieves him, and his arms embrace me tightly, holding me close to his body. With need to have him close, I bury my face in his neck, and his body shakes against mine.
“I need you.” His voice cracks between kissing my shoulder and under my ear. He cups my breast, his hand just resting over my heart. I hold him, caressing his back, up and down with my fingertips.
I can’t find the words at the moment, nor can I give him back what he took away. Not yet at least.
Perhaps ever.
But holding him heals me too, so I don’t let him go for the rest of the night, while my other hand never sways away from Liam.
When I wake up, I’m carefully curled against Liam, not wanting to hurt any part of his body, Fiasco at my back, and Joe is not there. I sigh in a bit of relief because even though everything burns, I’m still so angry with him.
