I don’t want to say I stalked her obsessively when I added her... But I also don’t want to lie. Her feed is gorgeous. She is gorgeous, and witty, and perfect. She has solid friends, goes on hikes and bartends to make extra money alongside her degree. And she’s doing a masters in behavioural psychology because she’s super passionate about helping people better themselves. That part I didn’t learn from Instagram, that part I learnt from her LinkedIn once I was done with her Instagram and decided to do a deeper dive.
I’m not saying I’m obsessive, because I’m not. Not usually, anyway. But she was so chic and mysterious when we met that I just had to know more. Now here I am, getting dressed and bragging about her so hard that Noah had to take a look for himself.
‘Andshe has a dog at her family home. She’s called Schnitzel. Do you think I’ll get to meet her?’ I ask.
‘On your first date? Probably not,’ he says, a small twinge of something in his voice.
I pause. ‘You’re right. Okay, I’m getting carried away.’
I turn to face him – see if I’ve bored him – but he shakes it off as soon as I turn.
‘Nah, it’s cute – you’re excited!’ He drops his eyes as he lies back against his headboard and fiddles with his duvet. ‘I haven’t seen you like this before... you must really like her.’
‘She was just... different, I don’t know.’ I shrug.
Our small conversation has been running on a loop in my brain. Maybe it was the vibe, or the wine, or the terrible ‘dates’ that preceded it, but I haven’t felt that strong a vibe since... Well, since Noah.
‘What about you? Are you out withJoannaagain?’ I ask, playing it as cool as I can.
Joanna and Noah were apparently love at first sight when they sat across from each other at speed dating. I could hear their laughter from across the room; it was incredibly distracting and didn’t exactly help with my time. After chatting with Lina, I went to squeal to Noah only to read a text to say he was leaving. He and Joanna immediately embarked on a romantic date. So romantic that he was out until the early hours of the morning. I’m so glad we didn’t end up making that wager after all. I glance up as he bows his head bashfully.
‘She’s busy tonight, but we’re going on a hike tomorrow,’ he says.
I bite my tongue and suck my cheeks in to keep my face neutral.
‘You don’t hike,’ I say.
We’ve never gone on a hike. He’s never once mentioned wanting to go on hikes.
‘No,youdon’t hike,’ he corrects me. ‘I have time for a hike, I just never thought to bring one up around you.’
‘I would hike with you,’ I say firmly.
He looks up at me confused, brow creasing as he scans my face. Shit. Unfortunately, I’m at a stage where I would do anything with him. And while I don’t need him to know that much, I apparently feel compelled enough to fight for the fact he could do anything Joanna wants with me. I swallow and glance at the floor, begging my feelings to stay hidden beneath the surface. Eventually I’m able to contort my face into a blank,emotionless stare. I aim it his way and he readjusts, relaxing again.
‘Save your forced hikes for your dates,’ he says cheekily. ‘What time do you have to be there?’
I check my phone. ‘Thirty minutes from now. Google says it’s like a seventeen-minute walk.’
‘I’ll walk with you.’
‘Nah, it’s still light outside, I’ll be fine,’ I say.
Plus, after Mala, I can’t risk showing up with Noah again. Lina’s too good to lose over a case of misplaced feelings, so I need Noah as far away from this situation as possible. I take one more look at my outfit – my now-clean pair of jeans, an orange strapless top and my trusty Converse, with one of Noah’s white shirts thrown over the top to account for the chilly breeze we keep getting.
The second I get to the beer garden I take in the sea of overflowing tables, raucous laughter and floating waiters all framed under a golden canopy of trees. Lina runs towards me, throwing her arms around me and squeezing before firmly taking my hand in hers.
We skate past table upon table before stopping in front of a large group of at least fifteen, all staring expectantly.
‘Friends, this is Amorie. Amorie, friends!’ she says proudly.
A rush of welcomes flies my way before they quickly rejig the seating. Within a few seconds, two seats have opened up and Lina and I awkwardly shuffle around to them. It’s a tight squeeze among all of us – I’m touching more knees than I can count – but none of them seem to care as they continue their merriment.
I sit and stare in silence, eyes darting between the main players as they tipsily shout across the table in German. Occasionally they’ll all laugh at something, spot my silence and quickly switch to English purely to explain the joke. But then they’ll revert back to German, getting too lost in the flow tobother to remember that I’m there. That’s fine with me. I need a second to recuperate and come to terms with the fact that my assumed one-on-one date is actually a group hang.
Lina leans over, bringing her lips to my ear to run through each woman, their name and a condensed friend-led bio. I do my best to commit it to memory, but it proves incredibly difficult due to the deep distraction that comes from her breath so close to my neck. My hairs stand up and my mouth loses moisture with each second she continues to whisper to me. It takes everything in me not to turn my head left and let our mouths meet for good, but it’s too soon and far too public.
‘Do I know you?’ A voice cuts through the chatter.
