It’s not like I care – of course I don’t care – I’m here to help him find love. But how can I possibly help if he won’t share with me? This doesn’t work if it’s all one-sided.
‘We’ve been chatting for a couple of days. I was supposed to go out with her this weekend, but since we’re now leaving tomorrow I’ve managed to move it to tonight,’ he says plainly.
They’ve been chatting fora couple of days. Which means, for the last couple of days everything I’ve known about him has been a lie. He got down onone kneefor me today, with his super-secret mysterious diamond ring, and then proceeded to knock the air out of me with one grand, sweeping kiss. But he didn’t have time to mention the girl he’s been chatting to for a couple days? I feel the makings of a scream compound in my chest.
‘Where are you going?’ I ask.
It comes out robotically, but honestly that beats how it sounded in my head.
‘The thermal baths. We planned to go to this nightclub thing there, but they only do it on Saturdays. However, she has a connect so I’m getting an out-of-hours tour; we’ve got the whole place to ourselves. It should be pretty cool.’ He shrugs.
‘A connect at the thermal baths? Who is this magical girl and where on earth did you meet her?’ I ask.
I try to make it sound nonchalant, but I unfortunately don’t know how. I’ve already tried to envision what she looks like, despite having no physical description at all. I wonder what her laugh will sound like when she inevitably caves at one of his jokes. I wonder if she’ll hear material that he hasn’t bothered using on me.
‘Are you jealous?’ he asks, clocking my furrowed brow.
I can’t be. I hold my breath and shake my head. He visibly relaxes.
‘Good, I was gonna say. You propose to a girlone timeand suddenly she expects you to stop seeing other people – it’s too much,’ he says jokingly.
‘Oh, shut up!’ I yell at him as he laughs. ‘Go and get ready for yourdate.’
Within thirty minutes he’s out of the shower, in a fresh outfit and out of the door. The room is silent and the walls look barer. There’s no soft thud of his feet against the laminate flooring. I glance towards his bed, messily made from the morning, a small dip left from when he last sat on the edge of it. Suddenly I’m all alone in our room for two, with nothing but my laptop and the quiet sounds of the street below.
It’s weird to think that pre-Noah I planned to do this entire trip completely on my own. Now here I am, alone for a few hours at most and I feel like a part of me is missing. I try to shut out the gnawing in my gut and remind myself that it’s only been fifteen minutes. Perhaps we’ve become too codependent – perhaps this time is good for us. Perhaps he should run off into the sunset with his Thermal Bath Girl and live happily ever after...
I feel bile physically rise in my stomach at the thought of the two of them hitting it off at the baths. Him in his trunks, her in a tiny bikini I’m sure, and a whole empty thermal bath to themselves. It’s a recipe for danger... a very specific danger that he is supposed to avoid at all costs. I whip out my phone immediately.
Have fun with Thermal Girl tonight! Remember rule #6 – no sex unless I say so xxx
I’m pathetic. Who do I think I am andwhat on earthdo I think I’m doing?Delete.
I blame Mala. Her words clearly took their time to seep into my brain and convince me of something that just isn’t true. Noahis myfriend. We arefriends. Friends with clear missions at hand that absolutely don’t involve entanglements with each other.
I rush out of bed to grab my headphones and laptop, before returning to prop myself against the headboard. I need peace – a sanctuary. A world that will nurse me back from the brink of insanity. I open up a fresh doc and cast my mind back to when today was simpler.
Date 11 – The Flippant Follower
Before I get into this cracker of a date, I thought I’d take a moment to address this man directly.
Mr Flippant Follower, if you read this, I’m sorry. No hard feelings. But let’s be honest, you totally deserve it.
I went to Salzburg and all I got was . . .
. . .a late-night dip
One of the best parts about travelling with a companion has been the lack of long, agonising journeys alone. Each train journey comes with a built-in entertainment system in the form of Noah Davidson. At least, it has until today. Today’s the first long-haul train that’s actually cared about people sticking to their seat reservations. So instead I sit alone, in a tightly packed four-seater, arm to butt with a stranger who takes pride in stealing both available armrests.
It’s not the first time we’ve sat alone; we had to on the way to Berlin, but that was three and a half hours apart. This is over six hours and I ran out of things to keep me entertained a good hour ago.
The guy opposite me emits a snore loud enough to echo through my headphones. I turn off my endlessly buffering movie, flick back to my text messages and start typing angrily.
What compelled u to pick a 7-hour journey with transfers over stopping somewhere else on the way?!
It takes over twenty minutes to send, the single tick taunting me each time I check. Eventually it does and his reply feeds through almost instantly.
The love of the journey! And poor planning, but mainly the journey thing.
