We both awkwardly giggle.
‘Can you tell I’m new to this?’ he asks.
He looks endearingly bashful as he shrugs into his jacket. I can’t help but smile at his shyness. I didn’t expect him to cower like this. It’s so much softness from a man who resembles a Greek statue.
‘Me, too,’ I say.
‘Surely not any more, though, with your column.’ His eyes bore into mine.
‘Have you read it?’ I ask brashly.
It’s been circling through my mind all night and I intended to leave it there. But I admire the way he’s so willing to wear his heart on his sleeve. There’s not a single guard; he tells everything exactly as it is. It’s so inspiring and pushes me to give him a bit more too.
He shakes his head. ‘I was tempted after El sent it, but I didn’t think it was fair to you. I wanted to give you a proper chance on a neutral, internet-free playing ground.’
My chest unfurls at the thought. ‘I really appreciate that.’
He halts his stride and turns to face me. ‘I wanted to judge you off your vibe alone. Well, that and your pretty face.’
He reaches his hand to my cheek, slowly stroking it down to my skin. His fingers skate across my flesh and tilt my head towards him. I take a deep breath.
‘And what’s the verdict?’ I ask, my voice trembling.
He brings our faces closer and the next thing I know his mouth is firmly on mine. He begins tenderly – clearly nervous as his lips carefully explore a new, undiscovered person. But as they learn more he grows firmer, the pressure deepening as he wraps his arm around my waist and presses me as close to him as he can.
I lose myself in his touch, gripping his coat as my tongue slides its way hungrily between his teeth. He growls, hands roaming underneath my jacket, gripping flesh, leaving marks, and making my whole body ache with a pulsating need. He’s certainly not nervous any more. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. So much so, I don’t know how much longer I can resist. I need this. I needhim– the perfect, gorgeous distraction to remind me that I can be sexy, void of interruption.
I’m so wrapped up in our movements that it takes me by complete shock when I feel his body pull away from mine. I freeze, thinking of Brussels, the last time this happened to me, and feel my chest seize up at the thought of it happening again.
‘Everything okay?’ I ask.
I hate how my voice trembles. One minute ago I was making him moan and now I’m standing here, a scared little girl.
He clocks the shake instantly and steps closer again, tenderly cupping my chin as we come face to face.
‘Everything’s fine. Great, even. It’s just...’ He looks around at the street. ‘We’re in public. And the way we just kissed... I’d love to do some veryprivatethings to you. Would you wanna come back to mine, by any chance?’
I catch a breath at his directness and feel an injection of warmth shoot straight into my core. It may have been a while, and the thought does make me nervous, but all dry streaks should come to an end. I look up at him; at his gorgeous face sculpted even deeper by the low lamplight. It’s time. I’m ready.
‘Please lead the way,’ I say slowly.
. . .a surprise
There are too many people walking through the streets of Berlin at this ungodly hour. They chat too loud and close café doors with bangs that echo around my poor, fragile, hungover head. Who let them out this early? What were they doing last night that prompted so much energy on a Saturday morning? All I wanted was a solitary walk of shame back to my hostel in peace.
Last night was fun and exciting, and everything I didn’t even know I needed, but it’s also the first time I’ve had sex in over a year. Not only that, but it’s the first time I’ve had sex with anyone but Tom in over six years. I didn’t think it would be that big a deal – Paige always says it’s just like riding a bike – and for the most part it was. Sam certainly knew what he was doing, but it didn’t stop me from waking up with more baggage than I anticipated.
Sam, bless him, offered to pick up breakfast and even walk me back to my hostel, but I wanted nothing more than to be alone with a sugary black takeaway cup and my complex thoughts. He took it in his stride and has even already messaged me – we forgot to exchange numbers, but he seems to have found my socials through my column.
By the time I get back, my coffee is mostly done but my thoughts are murkier than ever, so I’m beyond grateful to find our hostel room empty, sparing me from awkward small talk with strangers.
At least, I think it is, at first. That is, until I hear a small rustling behind one of the bed curtains.
Is someone . . . moving?
I see a foot poke out, then a second. A second that clearly belongs to someone different.
Are they . . . ?
