He glances towards me, surprised but delighted.
‘You sure?’ he asks.
I nod. ‘Let’s do this.’
Then the klaxon sounds, I lock in and let my rage take over.
‘You were amazing today!’ Noah says as we walk down the dark streets of Milan hours later.
‘It was nothing,’ I say, humbly waving it off.
‘Nothing!’ he scoffs. ‘Am, you were abeast! I’ve never seen Jake look so defeated – it was truly a sight to behold! Where did that come from?’
The sun has set entirely, the evening temperature dropped enough to paint goosebumps up and down my arms. I see Noah’s eyes home in on them, before he sighs and shrugs off his jacket, immediately draping it over my shoulders. I wrap it around myself tightly, breathing in his scent.
‘I just wanted you to win,’ I say truthfully.
I always want him to win. I want him to be happy. And if I can do anything to help that, I absolutely will. I cannot even describe what happened today – my adrenaline took over. I blacked out and next thing you know, we made it to the end.
‘We didn’t just win, wethrashedthem. Am – you were a woman possessed!’
He turns towards me, his face awash with unbridled awe and wonder. The power of it lifts me higher. If he keeps going, I could fly across the tops of the cathedrals and buildings all the way to our homestay. It’s too dangerous. I want to drop my gaze and slow down my heart rate, but my eyes are drawn to his like magnets. I just can’t look away, and neither can he apparently. When he steps closer, my heart threatens to leap from my chest.
His voice is hushed as he continues. ‘Would I be breaking a rule if I told you the whole thing was incredibly hot?’
He’s smiling darkly, creeping closer, his hand flinching restlessly as he resists the urge to bring it to my face.
‘You would be, yes,’ I barely manage to say, still staring straight at him.
He doesn’t falter.
‘Would you mind?’ he asks. ‘If I broke some rules?’
My heart’s gone from my chest now, revealing itself deep in the core of my trembling throat. I feel it seize, squeezing the breath out of me as I run through his words. This can’t be happening. We said one time. One time was all I could handle without it feeling heartbreakingly real.
‘We broke so many rules on the train to Rome,’ I remind him.
‘Exactly.’ He steps closer. We’re chest to chest. ‘So, what’s a few more?’
‘Why?’ I ask.
‘Why?’ He blinks back, confused, but I power on, letting my heart lead me.
‘Why break the rules? Because of lust? Or because...’ I trail off, eyes dropping. I’m not brave enough to continue. I can’t bear to think of how he’d even respond if I did. I want to run and hide – forget I even brought this up. I know the rules. I know why Noah’s here. It’s not fair to ask him to wait over forty dates for me.
It’s all too much. I go to turn – continue walking and end this conversation once and for all, but he grabs my arm and pulls me back in.
‘Because of what?’ he asks, still and sombre.
His grip tightens. We stay frozen in place, two lost souls under the flickering streetlight, searching for the answers in each other’s eyes.
‘I don’t know, you tell me.’ My voice trembles.
He shakes his head and laughs softly at my obvious deflection. ‘Amorie...’ His breath quickens. ‘Youmustknow how I feel about you at this point, we’ve...’ He trails off and looks down. ‘Okay, yeah, this is hard.’
I giggle. I can’t help it and neither can he as he joins in, the pair of us sharing this defeat.
‘What is wrong with us?’ I ask.
