“I’ll try," he whispered. "I'm just used to hiding it. But with you… I don't feel like I have to. I just get scared. What will you think when you see all of it?"
I cupped his cheek, thumb brushing softly across his skin.
"Love," I said gently. "We're all different. No two people are the same. So what if you do things others don't? So what if you repeat steps, or need things to feel right? I'm not downplaying how hard it is. I'm not underestimating how much OCD impacts your life, how heavy and painful it is. I want to learn how heavy it is. I want to know what it costs you to function on the hard days. Not so I can fix it. I can't fix it. So that I know what you're carrying, and I can be useful when you let me be."
I made sure he's listening to me because I prayed he would believe my next words.
"I will never judge you. I might not understand what it's like, but not knowing doesn't mean I won't show up for you. I'll support you. Respect you. I'll be here whether you're strong, or whether you can't be strong today. You don't have to perform anything for me to love you. Tired counts. Falling apart counts. Hiding under the blanket counts. All of it counts as you, and I love you for all of it. I'll be here for you. Always."
His lower lip trembled. “Always?”
“Always,” I promised. “I love you.”
“I know, my sweet demon. I love you, too.”
“Me? Sweet?” I gasped, going for mock outrage.
He laughed and so did I. Then I tangled my fingers in his hair as he asked quietly, "Will you hold me now?"
“Now and forever.”
I held him close, molding our bodies together. Whatever he needed, I'd give it. A few minutes later, he leaned in and kissed me.
I would never get tired of kissing him.
“You know we've got the whole day ahead. What do you want to do?”
He contemplated for a long time, but I knew he had an idea. The mischievous look in his eyes couldn’t be concealed.
“Let’s just chill here and read.”
“Read?” I raised a brow. Then came the innocent smile and puppy eyes. Shit, I was a goner.
“Please.”
“What do you want to read?”
“Let’s read my favorite MM book. I’m sure you’ll like it.”
Laughing, I remembered when he said he’d convince me to read one of his books one day.
“Fine. Let’s do that.”
“Yay!” The way he lit up was worth it. “I’m gonna grab my Kindle and charge my phone. I’ll be right back.”
He was halfway up the stairs when he turned suddenly. “Oh! The pancakes!”
“I've got them.”
“You sure?”
“Yes. Go.”
“Also, what do you think about a walk in the woods later?”
“Sounds like a perfect date.”
He grinned. “Nah. A perfect date is you taking me to a bookstore and buying me books. Lots of books.”
