Before I could think about it, I got up and went to his bed. I nudged him to one side, and when I lay next to him, I turned and saw him watching me.
"Your bed looks more comfortable," I said.
With that, I just reached for him and pulled him toward my body. My hand on his waist was burning hot, and I wanted to trace all of him. I brought his head close to my chest but not on it and said, "Sleep."
His breathing was hard, and there was tension in his body. Little by little, he relaxed, and half an hour later, he fell asleep. At some point, his head rested on my chest, and his arms came around my body, tugging me even closer to him. My breath shuddered and left me for a few moments until I realized I needed air. I closed my eyes for a bit, breathing in his scent.
It was going to be a long night, but at least I had him in my arms.
Chapter twenty
Dagon
Iwoke before dawn with Di's weight still warm against my chest. His breathing was slow and even, his hand fisted lightly in the fabric of my shirt. For one stolen second, I let myself stay. I let myself feel him. I let myself pretend.
Then the night caught up with me.
The Soulborn. The knife on the table. The gleam in Joshua's eyes when he looked at Di. The way Di's hands shook in the car afterward.
I'd let it happen.
I'd brought him into that house. I'd sat across from a demon and watched him study Diablos like prey, and I hadn't pulled Di out fast enough.
Carefully, I slid out from under him. Di stirred but didn't wake. I stood at the edge of the bed for a long moment, watching him, and I felt the cracks in my chest widen with every breath he took. By the time he opened his eyes an hour later, the cracks had become walls.
The peace from last night was already gone. Having Di by my side alleviated some of the darkness, but the moment we got up, the tension and unease I'd been suppressing intensified.
The previous night had been perfect, but now… now I felt like a black cloud was looming over my head. All my mistakes. All of my past. It all played before my eyes like a personally designed hell made just for me. Especially heavy were the thoughts connected to Di.
What happened yesterday with the Soulborn and Di's panic attack still made my blood boil.How could I have allowed Diablos to get into that house? To be near that fucking demon? How could I not notice the things Di noticed? How could I put him in danger?
Diablos tried to speak with me, but I could only give one-word answers. With how tightly I gritted my teeth, it was a miracle I could even speak.
"You slept well?" he asked at one point, his voice still soft from rest.
"Yes."
He waited. When I didn't say anything else, I felt the silence shift between us.
"Are you okay?"
"Fine."
He'd looked at me then with that searching gaze I knew too well – the one that meant he was trying to figure out which version of me he was getting today. I felt him decide, slowly, that he wouldn't push. Yet.
It wasn’t long before an uncomfortable silence settled around us. We grabbed some coffee and got back on the road. Tonight, we'd stay in yet another hotel, and tomorrow, we'd be in the town the fucker told us about.
One day.
One freaking day.
That was all I had.
I knew what I had to do. I didn’t care what it would cost me to keep Di safe. If going to this abandoned town was a trap, I’d do what I promised never to do again. Breaking that promise would hurt me, no doubt, but if something happened to Di… that would destroy me. It was something I’d never let happen. Never.
The thought of losing Di made my heart pound harder. No.I’d do whatever it took to keep him safe.No one would touch him. No one. But still, a sharp pain twisted inside me because I knew keeping him safe meant I'd lose him.But then again, had he ever been mine?
Beside me, Di shifted. He took a slow breath. I could feel him gathering himself, the way he did before he had to say something he didn't want to say. I'd learned that breath in the years we used to talk. I hadn't forgotten it.
