I would've missed his whispered words if not for my enhanced hearing.
Something tugged at my heart as I looked at him. He looked truly lost, and I wanted to help, to reassure him. I reached for him and pulled him toward me. Di came willingly and rested his head on my chest with a sigh. My heart was beating wildly, and I couldn’t believe I was holding Diablos in my arms. It felt right. The constant ache inside me eased for the first time in what felt like forever. If only I could hold on to him for the rest of my life.
Chapter sixteen
Diablos
When Dagon drew me into his arms, I was shocked. I was convinced this was how some of the main characters in my books felt. Dagon from three days ago and the man holding me right now were like two different people. I admit, I'd choose this version of him every day if I could.
I relaxed in his embrace, and for the first time, I felt like I could lean on someone. I never let my defenses fall. Never. But even I wasn’t delusional enough to deny the pull between us. I felt like I’d gone batshit crazy, but there was something like an invisible force pulling me toward Dagon. The moment I gave in and followed it into his arms, the pressure lifted, and I felt like I was finally where I was supposed to be.
Maybe all the books I read were getting to my head.
When he asked me about my studies, I contemplated telling the usual lie. I almost did because it came to me like a reflex. But fuck, there was something about Dagon that made me want to spill everything.
I shifted until I was more comfortable on the bean bag, which brought me even closer to Dagon. He froze for a second, and I froze too. Holding my breath, I prayed I wouldn’t end up on the floor. Shockingly, he tightened his hold around me.What were we doing? What was I doing?
“You know, computer science was hard, too.”
“I was surprised when you said you’d study computer science.”
“Why?”
“I’m not sure. I never imagined you majoring in it.”
“What did you imagine?”
“Do you like your work?” I asked instead.
I didn’t want to say I'd imagined him continuing his history studies and finding a job related to it. He loved history more than anything, and I loved how he lit up when he spoke about it. After the accident, after the most important competition in his life that he missed because of me… he gave up.
To this day, I felt the guilt eating at me. Regardless of what anyone else said, I knew Dagon giving up had something to do with me.
The memories brought back unpleasant shivers of pain and guilt, so I closed my eyes and listened to his soothing voice.
“Not really.” He laughed bitterly, and my heart went out to him. “Working for one of King’s companies has its perks, but it’s not something I enjoy. I just do it. That’s it.”
“I’m sorry.”
“There is no reason for you to be sorry, Di. Never apologize for something you’re not guilty of.”
My heart clenched at his words.Never be sorry for something you’re not guilty of.It sounded so simple, so easy, yet sometimes your brain couldn’t understand it, no matter how hard you tried. I lived that reality every single day.
“It’s not all bad, you know. I have plenty of skills to show off and annoy coworkers who are a pain in the ass.”
“I bet that’s one of your natural talents.”
“Annoying people? You can bet it is.”
Both of us started laughing, and I relaxed. The current version of Dagon was the real him, the one I met when I became part of the Hughes. I didn’t want to go back to being enemies. I didn’t want to return to our animosity and ignoring each other. My heart ached at the thought of Dagon distancing himself again, so I tightened my hold on him, as if that could somehow keep him next to me.
I was also painfully aware that this was risky. If I saw more of this side of Dagon, and he put up his walls again, pulling away from me, I’d fall apart like a tower of cards. I was playing a dangerous game and gambling with my heart on the line. The chances of him seeing me as more than a brother were slim to none. The worst part? I'd gladly pay whatever price to have him in my life.
Then again, truth be told, my heart hadn’t belonged to me for a long time. Dagon meant so much more to me than I could ever put into words.
It may be time to hope against all the odds. If I break my own heart, so be it.
As my brain caught up with my heart, and the overflowing determination continued to grow, I relaxed in his embrace.
