Never again. Never again. Never again.
Whoever did this to him. Whoever tried to do this to him next. Whoever raised a hand toward him in any form for the rest of time. I would never allow it.
Never. Again.
The thought didn't quiet anything else. The spiraling kept going underneath it. But it became a vow that stayed. Two parts of me holding two impossible things at once – falling apart, and never letting anyone hurt him again.
Both true.
Both me.
I also did my best not to dwell on the demon I'd killed. That demon deserved it, but it was still hard to wrap my mind around what I did. Did I regret it? No. Would I have nightmares about it? Probably. Would I do it again if I had to? Without hesitation.
Dagon briefly woke earlier, only long enough to check if I was okay. It reassured me briefly, but the terror lingered. The sight of him wounded replayed constantly. His screams echoed in my ears. I couldn't close my eyes without seeing him choking on blood. My sanity felt fragile, slipping away moment by moment.
A notification chimed, and I checked it, welcoming the distraction.
Bren:Hey, how are you doing?
Sighing deeply, I went to check on Dagon. He was still asleep and I gently kissed his forehead and forced myself to leave him.
I needed Dagon to wake up, but this would take at least three to five more hours. At this point, I was ready to crawl out of my skin with the way the horrors of today repeated in my mind. And the guilt? No matter what I tried, the guilt always returned.
It took me ten minutes to get to the guest room across the hall. I had to step on specific places and repeat steps until it felt safe to continue. Every misstep threatened to harm Dagon. Just the thought of it sent my heartbeat into dangerous territory.
Finally collapsing onto the guest bed, I buried my hands in my hair. I pulled, welcoming the physical pain. When my phone pinged again with a message, I shook my head and dialed Bren without checking his last text.
“Are you two okay?” Bren asked as a greeting.
I opened my mouth to say that we were okay. Instead, I broke down. Everything poured out in a rush. Today's horrors, the fight, my confession of love for Dagon, his demon identity, our mate bond. I told him everything. The only thing I didn’t tell Bren about was Dagon’s brother, Darius. This was somethingonly Dagon could decide whether he wanted to share or not. I also didn’t share that King omitted the truth that the objects were created by Lucifer.
When I finished speaking, the line was dead silent.
Finally, Bren spoke. With a shaking voice, he asked, “Dagon will be okay, right?”
I shivered but found my voice and said, “Yes, he will be.”
“Jesus Christ. Fuck, I have no idea what to say, Di.”
“That’s a first, isn’t it?” I joked or tried to.
“It is a first!” Bren exclaimed, clearly trying to lighten my mood. “So… you and Dagon, huh?”
“Yep.”
“Yep? Seriously? That’s all you’ll say after snagging the grumpy brother?”
I choked on my spit, “What!?”
“Fine, maybesnaggingisn’t right since no one else wants the grumpy brother. Shit, I mean, no one else wants to fuck him. Oh my God, that’s wrong, too. No! I mean, it isn’t wrong. It’s all cool. I mean cool for you, not for other brothers.”
“Bren,” I laughed softly, despite myself. “Breathe.”
“What I was trying to say was… what was I trying to say?”
“Honestly? I have no idea.”
“Well, I have no idea either. Anyway, on a serious note, I’m happy for you both.”
