Page 49 of Midlife with Demons


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I guess celestial testicles weren’t made of iron because Asmodeus looked like he was questioning all his life choices. He should be. He orchestrated an innocent man being murdered by his uncle and started all this, but he honestly should have portalled away instead of trying to grab Sydney.

Because like I said, an unhinged black belt, and she was currently beating the shit out of him. Even the other angels didn’t get involved. Lucifer was beaming with pride, but he also looked a little confused.

“Should I stop her? I’ve killed before.”

“Oh, she killed my entire family in self-defense, so she has too,” I said proudly.

“You seem happy about that,” he said as Sydney dislocated Asmodeus’s shoulder.

“They were dicks.”

“Then congrats, I guess?”

That was when I noticed a glow coming off of Asmodeus and it was quickly growing. Abaddon was next to them in seconds and heaved Sydney across the room. He threw himself acrossAsmodeus and took the brunt of it when the light exploded off of Asmodeus.

Lucifer and Satan swore and went to drag Abaddon off Asmodeus. Abaddon was half head, but Asmodeus had a hole in his chest and was completely dead. Abaddon was clutching his heart in his hands.

“I just wanted to save one of them,” Abaddon gasped.

And then he died.

Abaddon saved my life and lost his own in the process. Unlike Asmodeus, he was fully prepared to die tonight for what he did. I didn’t agree with literally anything he’d done. He’d murdered my brother and cost me a childhood with my father. But he never would have done any of that if it wasn’t for Asmodeus.

Lucifer, Satan, and Mammon were sitting over Abaddon and clearly grieving. I walked over to place my hand on my father’s shoulder. I didn’t know if he would have forgiven Abaddon after finding out what Asmodeus did. I still didn’t know ifIforgave him. I did know neither of us would get that chance now.

“I’m sorry.”

Because what else could I say?

“Don’t be. He must have figured out how to control the Beast of Eden and at least known he was going to die tonight. It’s the law. Kujo had the vision when he did so we got the full story and didn’t totally blame Abaddon.”

I wasn’t going to say it because everyone was grieving. I was completely shocked when Mammon, of all people, did.

“Maybe the law should change because as it stands now, we can say what we like to each other, we just can’t raise a hand. Asmodeus didn’t technically break the law until he held a knife to Sydney. It’s not against the law to manipulate any of us to do dirty work. Besides, I think if Asmodeus had done to him what your child just did more often, he probably wouldn’t have acted up. Maybe you should release the Hellspawn on more of us.”

Mammon gave me a small smile, so I gave him one back. I wasn’t sure if we’d ever be good friends, but he was trying, so I would.

“Why did he do this?” Satan asked.

“Asmodeus hated all three of you. He thought Lucifer, Satan, and Abaddon had some cool kids club and you do, in a way. You are the original members of the rebellion. The rest of us joined later. You are also the strongest. And to be fair, you didn’t like him much either,” Belphegor said.

Neither did I, but that was because of his sparkling personality. I’m guessing it was the same for my dad and uncles.

“It was the demons,” Beelzebub said with a mouth full of food. “He resented Lucifer for letting Lilith give them free will.”

“You don’tletLilith do anything. She just does.”

Right on.

“Yeah, but Asmodeus wanted them to be mindless sycophants like some of our brothers were with our father. He took it personal he never got his own demon like Satan and Abaddon did. Abaddon got incubi and succubae and Satan got the Furies. Even Mammon got his own demon.”

“I didn’t create themforthem. I created them foreveryonein Hell. They can take down angels. To protect you. I swear, do the rest of you feel this way?”

“We didn’t like him much either. We hung around him becauseyoumade us feel unwelcome,” Belphegor said. “I never guessed he would go so far as to orchestrate Kir’s murder. If I’d known, I would have come to you. He didn’t like us either, but it didn’t feel like he was hiding it.”

“And that’s the problem,” Mammon said. “I was not part of the original rebellion and joined pretty late. I was never a general and frankly, they had to rescue me. I’m not as close to Satan and Abaddon, but Lucifer hasalwaystreated me like a friend. We got in this mess because we don’ttalkand just made assumptions.

“People died and the Gates of Hell nearly shattered. Abaddon messed up terribly. I’m not disputing that, but he was right about one thing. If we can’t even govern each other, we shouldn’t be ruling over demons too. No one should be in power as long as we have and we’ve been so focused on that and moving pieces that we’ve lost joy. Do any of you actually enjoy this game we’ve been playing?”