Page 46 of Midlife with Demons


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I couldn’t say anything because I didn’t want them to know I was part of the plan. I put my hand on her lower back and traced small circles with my fingers. She instantly relaxed, and I likedthat she knew what I was saying with just a touch. I couldn’t do that with Kujo, who looked ready to punch someone in the throat because he would punchmein the throat.

You couldn’t tell Celix was ready to pounce from look at him, but I knew him. He was scenting and using his own gifts. We exchanged looks over Sydney’s shoulder. With everyone’s mental shields still firmly in place, he was getting more than I was. Aside from Mammon, I could just read body language and everyone here knew Lucifer was up to something.

“It wasn’t personal,” Lucifer said to Mammon. “I was trapped in a cage with so much warding and barely fed. You know how much we need to eat to balance our magic. I was typically left a loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter, but the deliveries weren’t regular. I could never guess when they were coming. Even rationing the food, I sometimes ran out and had to do without. You know what that does to our magic.”

Lucifer was interribleshape when we found him, but the Fallen knew what that meant without having to see him. They all looked horrified, but I was focusing the most on Satan and Abaddon since Mammon let his mental shields slip.

“No need for the theatrics of one of Lilith’s dinner parties, brother. Just tell us who did it,” Asmodeus said.

He was such a dick. There was a reason we all thought it was him at first. He looked annoyed, and a little bored. Asmodeus looked like he didn’t want to be here and it wasn’t because one of his brothers was most likely going to die tonight. Asmodeus didn’t like Lucifer and didn’t want him back. I could tell that much by watching them interact.

If I was just going off body language and no knowledge of the passages, I’d still think it was him. Beelzebub looked wary, but not outright annoyed. Belphegor looked sick and I was pretty sure that was because he was an empath. Mammon seemed to be the only one who just realized Lucifer didn’t actuallyknowwhokidnapped him. Whoever wore Kir’s face also knew, but they weren’t givinganythingaway.

Lucifer just smirked.

“I waited forty-six years in that cage for someone to figure out where I was and help me. None of my brothers showed up. A youngling did what you couldn’t. You can humor me and eat my delicious food.”

“That’s not exactly fair,” Satan argued as we all walked towards the dining room. “Mostof us were looking. You were gone so long, the gates started to weaken. Abaddon had to come up with a new alarm system so we could locate the souls when they got out. So, we were doing that in addition to trying to find you. You know if an angel doesn’t want something found, it won’t be. I still don’t even know howthatone managed to get visions about your location because it’s never happened before.”

Abaddon just clapped him on the back.

“He’s allowed to be angry, brother. No matter how bad things got with the wards, he had it worse.”

I wished Abaddon had said nothing. Satan was emotional enough to let his shields slip, and I had a feeling if Lucifer had said something instead of Abaddon, they might have fully dropped. But the moment was lost.

As we made our way to the dining room, it hit me. Lucifer’s place was like a maze. There were plenty of places to hide if you wanted to drug someone without being seen if we were to believe Satan. I’d never tried my magic on one of the Fallen, but if they were more focused on hunting for hidden cameras than keeping up their mental shields and didn’t know I was there, I could probably chip away until I knocked one out.

A well trained Fury could too, and we already knew the Furies were involved. Either Satan was lying or he’d just been confused about how he got knocked out. Which could honestly happen with a Fury or someone like me. And it was illegal forsomeone like me to use that kind of magic at all, much less on a Fallen, but a Fury didn’t have those kinds of restraints. They were also arrogant enough to use their magic on a Fallen.

I needed a minute and a word with my family. As the Fallen entered the dining room, I held everyone back.

We needed to be looking ateveryone,even the people we’d ruled out. The only person I knew for sure was innocent was Mammon.

Well, that was fucking great, and I didn’t know how we missed that. Lucifer’s house was a mix of big open spaces and twisty hallways. He was also an artist and a big reader, so there were alcoves for sculptures and paintings and bookcases everywhere. Not all demons were massive. We’d never give my sister trouble for being the runt of the litter, but a demon her size could easily hide here. And physical size didn’t mean much. You could be pint-sized and still be a magical powerhouse.

The scents in the room were acrid and overwhelming. Nero was going to be our best bet, but most of the Fallen were scaredand didn’t want to be here. Mammon and Abaddon seemed to be the only ones who wanted Lucifer back and for whoever did all this to pay.

Asmodeus outright loathed him and Belphegor looked worried. Beelzebub looked like he had a drunk gerbil running on a wheel in his head and that tracked since I learned he was the dumb one. Out of all of them, I counted Beelzebub out too because he was stupid and smashed his toys when he was bored.

That left Satan. The Prince of Wrath waspissed.But without Nero being able to get a read, no one knew if he was pissed because Lucifer escaped, Lucifer said something about no one finding him for forty-six years, or because he thought Lucifer knew who did it and was being petty by throwing a fancy dinner party to reveal it.

Because honestly, that was petty as fuck. Nero and I ate that up and the only reason Kujo didn’t hate it was because he hated the Fallen even more. And Lucifer was obviously beingsuperpetty because he took the head of the table, set Lilith to his left, Sydney to his right, and had us three demons sit next to Sydney and Lilith like we were more important than his brothers.

Mammon looked upset about it and I only knew it was because he legitimately cared about Lucifer from Nero. Asmodeus and Belphegor were seething. Satan was less angry and seemed resigned to let Lucifer get on with the show. Abaddon seemed to find this whole thing amusing. Beelzebub was face deep in the appetizers and seemed to have no idea what was going on.

Lucifer was casually sipping his wine with his pinky up in the air. I could see he was watching his brothers over the rim.

“So, I’ve gotten the basics. Seems you all made a mess of Hell in my absence,” Lucifer purred.

“Oh, you helped with that,” Satan snapped.

“Notallof us,” Abaddon said, tipping his wine glass to Asmodeus. “Some of us went full asshole.”

“That one gives off vibes he’s always been full asshole,” Sydney said.

Mammon started choking on his wine, but it wasn’t because he was offended. He was laughing.

“I thought it was him at first too. Wealwaysthink it’s him. It’s why I’ve spent the last forty-six years around him. He wanted Abaddon to figure out how to shore up the gates so he could keep you gone and figure out how to rule, but Asmodeus has no idea who took you. He was trying to figure that out so he could use it to make himself king. And Abaddon couldn’t figure out how to stop the breaches because he’s not that smart. He just fucks smart people.”