Page 19 of Midlife with Demons


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“I’m down. Say when.”

Before we could tell her she’d need to arrange an entire security team that was more than just us before Satan and Abaddon would even let her in the vicinity of that neighborhood,a portal opened up and a bunch of angry fallen angels stormed through.

“Oh, good. The bitch pigeons are here to complain again,” Sydney said.

“Do you know what you just did?” Mammon hissed.

“I figure I took one for Team Angel and helpedyourspawn too, Preachy McFeatherface. You seem to be having some celestial dick measuring contest with other winged beings, but you’re cheating by denying them this spell. I think the words you are looking for arethank you.”

Mammon started glowing, and I had a feeling he was intending on hurting Sydney. I knew I could get in serious trouble for this, but I started calling my magic just in case I needed to knock him out. Surely stopping him from hurting the heir to Hell was a good excuse to these assholes.

Belphegor smacked his arm across Mammon’s chest like I’d seen mothers do in cars in mortal realm movies.

“We agreed when we fell. No one raises a hand to another angel. The punishment is death. Stop letting her goad you, brother.”

“I blame Lilith. She’s a bad influence. What is she even doing here?”

“Excuse you, but I’m perfectly capable of being my own bad influence. Anyway, I don’t know why your feathers are in a bunch. She didn’t out you for deliberately burying that spell and I would have, so count yourself lucky.”

“She’s right,” Satan said. “I was here the entire time, and I didn’t stop her. This was needed. Them having wings doesn’t make us less and now we know this spell will help our children.”

“I don’t have any,” Mammon sneered. “Angels should be made, not born.”

“Dude, that explains so much. Do you at least wank one out? It would make you less of a nard.”

Lilith snorted and Mammon started vibrating with rage again. Sydney wasn’t wrong, but I’d never say that to an angel’s face, fallen or otherwise.

“She’s not wrong,” Beelzebub said. “Why did we fall if we’re still following the old rules?”

“Well,I’mnot interesting in siring anymore spawn. They are ungrateful little shits who always want more and it’s all tedious and boring,” Asmodeus yawned.

I mean, yeah, if you were a shitty parent. It was probably a good thing he wasn’t having more kids.

“Well, now that you’re all here and I don’t have to worry about permanently damaging my wings, we should chat. Someone in this room kidnapped Lucifer and I happen to have inside information that Asmodeus is having secret meetings with the Princes, but notallthe Princes. What’s up with that, dude?”

Well, damn. We were grossly outnumbered by fallen angels and she put it out there like that. Satan and Wrathhog tensed like they were getting ready for a fight and I started pooling my magic in my gut just in case. Satan said he’d protect me and technically, I’d be protecting his kid too, so he’d better mean that.

Except Asmodeus looked completely nonplussed. The only one who looked plussed was Mammon, and he always looked like that, so I couldn’t tell if it was a new thing or not.

“Well,Icertainly didn’t kidnap him. I thought he finally snapped after dealing with the loss of Kir and just abandoned the place until I found out we now have a seer capable of locating him. I was meeting with my brothers to see iftheydid it. Ask your incubus to read me. I have nothing to hide.”

Well, if he wasaskingand wasn’t going to kill me for it later…We could read emotions. It didn’t have to be just lust. Celix could too up to a point. He had feline senses. He could hear ifsomeone’s pulse changed and scent if they broke into a nervous sweat. I could feel if he was nervous because he was lying. That didn’t always work with narcissists and psychopaths because sometimes, they’d convinced themselves what they were saying was true.

Asmodeus wasn’t nervous, and he wasn’t feeling guilty. I sent my magic out. Mammon was a tightly curled ball of rage. Belphegor was lusting after Lilith and that was the only emotion he was feeling right now.

Bingo.

“Asmodeus either isn’t lying or he believes he’s telling the truth. Beelzebub is the only one of them feeling guilty about something.”

Every eye in the room turned to Beelzebub and Satan looked fully like the Prince of Wrath right now.

“You’d better explain,brother.”

Beelzebub was the only setting off Nero’s Spidey senses? That dude hadn’t spoken two words to me since I got here. Didn’t he have some kind of Lord of Roaches thing going on? Or maybe flies. I knew he had some gross bug thing going on from writing research.

I remember someone who knew him saying he was a twisted fuck. That twisted fuck looked terrified at the moment because most of his brothers were starting to glow a bit.

“What? Idid notkidnap Lucifer!”