“We are brothers in Christ on that,” Sydney said.
“Mammon would pass out if he heard you say that,” Satan said.
“Sorry, doesn’t the pamphlet on all that say forgiveness for all sins will be given if you just ask? He’s clearly miserable here and wants to go home. Can’t he just ask?”
“Unfortunately not. We are not human and are held to greater standards. Angels aren’t allowed to fuck up and rebelling was the ultimate sin. It doesn’t matter what Mammon wants. None of us are ever going home.”
“My mother just tried to kill me and I’m already over it,” Kujo said. “He’s had alotlonger to deal with his shit.”
Kujo might have had the balls to say that to Satan, but he never would have said it to any of the other Fallen. And we all knew he wasn’t over it. The Fallen had daddy issues and Kujo had mommy issues.
“So, uh, ballpark. When do we think Abaddon will be dragging himself away from all the incubi dick?”
Kujo snorted.
“How long would it take you to drag yourself away from a naked Nero?”
“Women and Nero have different refractory periods than men. I’m guessing angels don’t have special boner powers and would have to stop before I would.”
“Angels don’t have special boner powers, but I do,” I said, winking at her. “Whoever is in there with him can keep the party going until someone chafes and says stop.”
“Tease.”
“Anyway, I asked my brother to come by when he’s done fornicating. I decided to invite him here because he finds Sydney amusing and will be more likely to help if she talks to him.”
The Fallen wereweird.Nothing about this was amusing. Abaddon should help because Armageddon in two realms was at stake.
Sydney shouldn’t have to perform like a monkey for it.
This was so fucked up. Asmodeus was plotting, Abaddon was fucking, and Satan refused to do anything without backup for such a large fellow. If it were up to me, I’d tell Abaddon to put his dick away and help me kick Asmodeus’s door in to get some answers.
Alas, I wasn’t good for much of anything right now except being frustrated by certain men. Not Nero, Celix, or even Kujo. If it wouldn’t have damaged my wings, I’m pretty sure they would have supported me setting some shit on fire to make a point.
Men shouldn’t be this frustrating in two different realms.
“You should flex your wings a bit. It’ll help,” Kujo said.
“He’s right. It’ll make them stronger and get you out of this room faster. I know it’s driving you nuts not to march over to Asmodeus’s place and demand answers,” said Nero.
“Well, I’d have to ride bitch on your motorcycle again because I don’t know where anyone lives. I don’t even know where the supermarket or nearest food truck is. Please tell me you have food trucks in Hell. Some demon had to eat at a food truck after he put his big-headed demon spawn in some unsuspecting woman and brought that back here.”
“Actually a demon brought food trucks to the mortal realm before or after he put his big-headed demon spawn in some woman,” Celix said.
“They should do more shit like that instead of impregnating people. If demon sperm is more powerful than human birth control, they need to wear a condom. Before you hump, cover your stump. That’s what a gym teacher told a bunch of thirteen-year-olds when I was in school and it’s true.”
“Notallof us go wild and end up with spawn. It’s considered a rite of passage to spend time on the mortal realm when you graduate school unless you’re an imp. A lot of us have jobs that involve regular travel there. Ours involve fetching Cambion, but we also trade. We learn about your medical and technological advancements, but we also share ours if it’s something humans are capable of.”
“Some things we could share, we don’t because humans would do terrible things with it.”
No, I got that part. A bunch of people would die and someone would get rich off of it. I really didn’t want to be stuck in this room any longer than I needed to be, so I needed to follow the advice of people who knew what they were talking about. I trusted Nero and Kujo seemed to be in a helping mood. He might bark at me, but he’d never actually tried to hurt me, so in a way, I trusted him too.
It was pretty awkward trying to get out of bed, but Celix picked me up like I weighed nothing and didn’t have massive wings coming out my back and set me on my feet. I pulled myself away from him because I could focus on the task at hand instead of all his muscles and the fact that he smelled good.
Later, though.
“Okay, what do I need to do?”
“So, your wings are a part of you. Think of them like new arms. You can’t pick anything up with them, but they move like that. It’s just natural for your arms and legs to move when you want to do something. It’s the same with your wings. Taking them out and putting them away is a lot more complicated to learn, but right now, just try to move them,” Kujo said.
