A soft, gentle, beautiful smile appeared then. “I’m more than all right, baby. Thanks for checking.”
Heat shot up to my face. “I’m still sitting on your thigh.”
“Any other day, beautiful, you’d be sitting on my cock, but the horrors persist.”
“And so do we,” I tacked on as he lowered his leg, holding me steady as I found my balance again. My legs were tingling, nearly Jell-O. Once I had my footing, he gave me some room, stepping back. My eyes dropped to the wet spot on his jeans. “Oh, my goodness. I’m so—”
“Don’t you dare,” he cut me off, chuckling and shaking his head. “Don’t apologize to me. You have nothing to be sorry for.”
“Dominic and Jake are going to see that and think—”
“Think what?” He ticked his head to the side, the corner of his mouth tipping up.
My mouth opened and closed a few times, my tongue not knowing what words to form. “This has been the weirdest day,” I confessed.
His smirk faded, his brow furrowing. “I know it has.”
My bed was in the center of the room, just a few feet behind Ash, and all I wanted was to crawl into it. Hide for the rest of eternity. With Ash beside me, of course. There was a strange sense of guilt manifesting in my stomach now, talons forming, ready to slice me up for the feelings fluttering inside me. “I feel as if I’m in a hurricane,” I blew out, pulling my hair off my neck.
“A hurricane?”
“The first wall of a hurricane is the worst, and even though you know it’s coming, it’s way worse than anything you could’ve prepared for. I was prepared for Felix to no longer be in my life, but not like this.” My voice dissipated into a whisper, images of him watching the sunset just a week ago rushing to the front of my mind. “He told me was leaving. He was unhappy, but he didn’t want to die, Ash.” I lifted my eyes from the floor. “He wanted to live. He wanted to go and discover himself.”
He said nothing, watching me closely, and I tried to sort out my feelings.
“Seeing him this morning, lying there in the sand…that was the first wall. The big hit. It threw me off. Then, in the middle of my panic, there you were,” I went on, moving to my bed as I laced my fingers together. “You were there, and it was like the storm had let up. The ocean wasn’t invading the land anymore. I had a moment to catch my breath.” I sat on the edge of the bed, crossed my legs, and focused on my hands. “I don’t—I don’t want this to come off corny, but this is the only way I think I can get you to understand what’s going on inside my head.”
His throat bobbed. “You can tell me anything.”
“Kissing you…” I let out a deep breath and raised my head. “Kissing you and getting lost in you, Ash—that was the eye of my storm.”
I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t him flinching. It was the smallest of movements. If I had blinked, I would’ve missed it. Thank goodness I didn’t. Emotion, I didn’t know what, passed over his rugged features. It was dark. It was groundbreaking. On any other day, it would’ve scared me.
But not today.
Not after the line we’d crossed.
“Thank you for letting me have that,” I concluded. He said nothing, and as I stared at him, something clicked. “You shaved.”
He blinked. “What?”
“Your beard is shorter than the last time I saw you.” It looked cleaner, reminding me of the day I met him. “I’m sorry for just now noticing.”
His jaw tightened. “What did I just say about apologizing?”
“Well, I should’ve noticed before I jumped you, at the very least,” I argued. “It looks nice.”
“You have to stop.”
“That wasn’t an apology.”
He moved then, prowling toward me like a caged animal. My chin was between his fingers, my head was tipped back, and he got in my space, his nostrils flared. “You gotta stop complimenting me, telling me I look nice, telling me I'm the eye of your storm. After what you just gave me, any more of your beauty will feel like torture.”
My lips parted. “Wh-what?”
Our gazes broke as he turned his head, staring out the window and muttering something I couldn’t decipher.
“What? What did you just say?” I whispered, chest heaving as my heart climbed into my throat.
