And suddenly Ash was the only person I wanted in my house.
“Yes, we’re not done with our conversation,” I clarified. “I didn’t want to leave you all standing out here. It’s late.”
“Conversation?” Margo parroted. I turned my head, finding her eyes bouncing between us.
“Right,” Grayson drawled. “Well, we need to get home.” He held his hand out for Carrie’s, lifting his chin to me. “You need anything else before we go?”
I shook my head.
“Call Carrie if you do. We can be up here in ten minutes, yeah?”
I nodded, a funny feeling swirling in my gut. They didn’t know me well enough to offer that kind of thing. And yet here they were, extending hands of kindness.
Carrie hummed in agreement as she pulled Margo out of the way. “Faster if I’m in my car. It does well around curves,” she boasted, beaming. “Can we hug?”
Hug?
I must’ve not concealed my shock well enough. She started to backtrack. “Sorry—only if you’re comfortable. You’ve just…I know you’ve been through so much tonight.”
“You’re fine with hugging me?”
Her head cocked to the side, lips thinning. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
My answer was immediately logical. “Because we barely know one another.”
Margo was studying me over Carrie’s shoulder. Margo was good at reading people, and I loathed how easily she could decipher me. When I looked down at Carrie again, a rush of cold skated down my spine, cutting into the skin. Her usual rosy cheeks had paled, her eyes wide, and her bottom lip was trembling.
She was about to cry.
“Oh my goodness,” I whispered, stepping onto the porch. “Are you okay?”
Tears fell down her face and dread sank onto my shoulders.
“Sorry,” she rasped, laughing at the end of it just as I felt Ash’s heat at my back.
“Don’t apologize,” Ash murmured, his voice intoxicating. “It’s been a long night.”
The sight of her tears caused my stomach to tighten, more guilt adding to the pile I’d collected. I opened my arms and moved to her, giving her what she needed more than me. Her arms wrapped around me tightly, and she held on longer than I expected. She was a stranger to me, yet she was tied to my life through Margo. We shared a friend. Her head on my shoulder, my hands on her back, I turned my eyes away from her lover and whispered, “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
A choke sounded, and suddenly, I was wishing for the skies to open up again. But the storm had paused, and her sob seeped into the walls of my porch, making me wonder how many others had stood in this exact spot and cried. I could only withstand her embrace for a few moments longer, and when I released her, she thankfully took the silent hint and released me. Stepping back, I cleared my throat and checked that my shirt wasn’t crooked. As I did, Margo’s shoes butted into my line of vision.
“You sure you don’t need anything else from me?” she whispered, her lips turning up.
“No, I’ll be all right.”
She glanced at Ash. “Yeah, you’ll be all right,” she agreed.
Thirty-seven seconds later, they were gone. Ash and I were finally alone, and my mind was seconds away from imploding. I was off my routine. Every inch of me felt itchy, and I knew it would take me days, perhaps even a week, to recover from this lapse. Still, there was no sense in dreading that right now. Ash had a life of his own to get back to. So keeping him for a long time while I silently tried to work through my own issues in my head seemed rude.
I didn’t want him to think I was rude.
Truthfully, I didn’t know what I wanted him to think of me. I just knew that if his thoughts were negative, I would never gather the strength to handle it.
“Would you like some tea?” I asked, my voice cracking because of the giant lump in my throat, as I turned to face him. He leaned against the doorframe—he nearly filled the entire space—with his arms crossed over his wide chest, mouth set in a firm line, his eyes working their way into my soul.
“I want to know what you have to say to me, Angel.”
I nearly flinched. “I have a lot of things I want to say to you, but if you don’t mind, I need to make some tea. This day has already thrown me enough curve balls, and my late-night tea is a ritual I refuse to give up.”
