“You don’t look like you’re in the mood to beg for it.” This came from Jake, who was standing beside Dominic. His red beard was thicker now, more disheveled, matching the hair that stopped just past his shoulders. His glasses were new, no longer black but deep brown.
“No, I’m not in the mood. It would be a waste of time,” I told him, swinging my attention back to Gray. “You and Mitchell told me if I ever went rogue again, I wouldn’t have a place here at Red Snake. When I went into Devil’s Den to look for Angel, I didn’t care or think about the position it put Red Snake in.”
“And when you left over five hundred days ago?” Grayson asked slowly. “Did you think about the harm you caused not only Red Snake, but us as individuals?”
“Yes.”
“And you still left.”
“I had shit to take care of.”
“Did you?” Hayes challenged me, ticking his head to one side, eyes narrowing. “Or was this a direct reaction to seeing her?”
I finally looked over to him, understanding where his anger came from. He wasn’t mad at me. Not entirely. He was mad at the situation, because it was out of his control and it hurt the people he loved. “I left because of her, yes.”
“Okay, that’s enough,” Dominic clipped, his calm demeanor weakening. He snapped his fingers and pointed to me. “You, in my office. Everyone else, fuck off.”
Jake’s head snapped toward him, the crease in his brow deepening. “You’re kidding, right?”
Dominic’s jaw jumped as he shot me a look before turning to face the rest of them. “No, I’m not kidding. Whether or not Ash is still part of Red Snake, I need to debrief him.”
“But—”
“No,” Grayson interjected. “Dominic is right. Per Red Snake’s policy, Doss is still on the payroll, thus making him an employee. Debriefs are required after missions.” He stepped out of the shadows, his scar and dark eyes on display. “Sanctioned or not.”
I stiffened but kept quiet as the three of them walked out of the office. Hayes didn’t spare me a second glance, and if I weren’t so fucked in the head at the moment, his complete dismissal of my return would have stung.
“Are you going to try and get out of this?” Dominic sighed, unbuttoning his suit jacket and retrieving his glasses. I watched as he slipped them onto his nose, a strange comfort settling over my shoulders. It was a small taste of the home I’d left behind. The home I may never have again.
“No,” I answered, lifting my chin. “I knew what to expect when I came back.”
“You mean when you decided that you would come back?” he asked, raising a brow, waiting for me to correct him.
I wasn’t here to play games. I’d come back to Portland to get on with my life after losing something I’d convinced myself I would have. It was a foolish choice, not to mention a damaging one. “I was always going to come back, Edwards.”
He blinked, remaining still for a few seconds, watching me with his indigo eyes.
Finally, he nodded. “Very well, then. Come with me.”
As we headed down the hall to his office, I heard someone feminine laugh in the lobby. Without a second thought, I looked over my shoulder, in search of the owner of the voice. That laugh didn’t belong to Carrie or Margo, and they were the only women who ever came here.
“That’s Dana,” Dominic said, answering my unasked question. “She is our new receptionist.”
“Our?” I repeated, shooting him a look as he opened his door.
Dominic was the calmest of all of us. Perhaps it was due to his doctorate in psychology. He was too self-aware for his own good. Or perhaps it was the crippling perfectionism that created a safe space for him to operate in when he wasn’t alone. “Yes,our. You and I both know neither Hayes nor Grayson will let you walk away from this job unless you truly want to. And they know you don’t. I know you don’t. Jake is uncertain, but then again, there isn’t much he is certain about these days.”
Before I could respond, he jerked his head. “Go. You can talk when you’re on the couch.”
Dominic’s office wasn’t bare like mine or Hayes’. In fact, he’d hired a decorator to come in and design a workspace for him. He’d done the same thing with our Denver and Charlotte locations. The same interior designer also set up his apartment. He told us once that it gives him peace, and not having to worry about something such as making his space comfortable was a luxury he could now afford. This was because of his childhood, a subject he rarely brought up. I stepped inside, the scent of lemongrass incense hitting my nose. My eyes shot directly to it, noting the elegant incense stand and how the smoke danced.
His office was a corner office, like mine, Gray’s, and Hayes’. He’d had the walls painted a warm cream color. His desk, a dark wooden piece, was in the center of the room, with two brown leather chairs in front. There was a tan couch to my right and a small table just beyond that. And directly across from the couch,behind his desk, was a wall of bookshelves, each one filled to the brim. The books were organized by genre and then alphabetized from there.
“Take a seat, Ash,” he invited as he glided behind his desk, removing his suit jacket. That’s what Dominic did. He didn’t walk. He fucking glided. Like a damn vampire.
As he prepared for the debrief, pulling my file and whatnot, I plopped down on the couch. Suddenly, my body remembered how much I missed this spot. I’d never had an issue with debriefs, not like the rest of them did. In fact, after a mission, I couldn’t wait to get it over with. To brain dump all the shit I’d gone through and felt on the mission, whether it was a hunt or just to gather information. It felt good to release it all, to not have to be forced to hold it in.
Holding shit in had the power to turn a person into something they never wanted to become.
