I get it. We’re done.
Jack
Chapter One
Starlight Old Folks Home, Alienn, Arkansas
First Annual Bachelor Auction Fundraiser
“So, this is what hell looks like.”
Jack Grey gazed at the lively and enthusiastic crowd and tried not to make a run for it. The sun was setting and it would be dark soon. Under the cover of night, he might be able to escape and hide.
That was his first instinct, though he knew it was futile. Aunt Dixie would simply hunt him down, drag him back by the scruff of his neck and plop him right back up on stage to fulfill her latest grand idea to make money for what had to be the richest old folks home in the whole state of Arkansas, possibly the nation.
Jack had always considered himself a reasonable man.
Which was why he could say with complete confidence that standing on a makeshift stage in front of seemingly half the population of Alienn, Arkansas—while his Aunt Dixie waved a glitter-covered microphone like a weapon—was not a reasonable situation.
“Ladies!” Aunt Dixie boomed, her voice carrying clear across the courtyard of the Starlight Old Folks Home. It had been festively decorated with ropes of lights strung above the heads of the bidders and spectators like some fantasyfairy ball. “And a few of you gentlemen, though I see you mostly came for the complimentary pie table—”
Laughter rippled through the crowd.
Jack shifted his weight and tugged at the too-tight collar of the button-down shirt Aunt Dixie had insisted he wear. He preferred T-shirts and jeans. He had been summarily overruled.
“I look like I’m about to sell farm equipment,” he muttered.
From the front row, his little sister, Valene—who was absolutely not helping—called out, “Smile, Jack! You look great and you’re about to make someone very happy!”
“Or very disappointed,” he shot back.
More laughter.
Great. He was killing it.
Valene waved at him one last time and popped up from her seat to join the gaggle of his safely married brothers and their wives—so unfair—standing at the edge of the excited crowd of women ready to bid on him like he was…well, a fat porkchop in the display case at the butcher’s shop.
It was times like this when he wondered how his life had come to this. How did he get here? He pushed out a long sigh that went unheard by the lively crowd. He scanned the group in search of a friendly face but didn’t see anyone who might help him.
Jack worried more than a little bit about who he’d end up owing twenty-four hours of his valuable time to. He hoped whoever wound up with the winning bid was someone practical. He could do some yardwork for her, maybe clean out a garage.
A second scan of the audience didn’t reveal much sense or sensibility.
This was going to be unfortunate.
He could practically smell his own downfall. The only thing going for him was the winning bidder would get twenty-four hours of his time, not a lifetime. Thankfully.
Aunt Dixie walked to center stage and waved her microphone until the restless crowd quieted down.
“Now, this fine specimen is our first bachelor of the evening!” Aunt Dixie, shouted, pointing at him like she’d just spotted a prize bull at the local farm auction.
Fine specimen? Really?
Applause erupted, interspersed with a few wolf whistles from the direction of his brothers. Jack tipped his head back and stared at the sky, wondering why instant-wish teleportation had not been invented yet.
Since wishing he could be transported off this stage wasn’t working, Jack reconsidered his plan to run hard and fast into the next county and hide in the woods. Even if there were possibly scary invisible monsters living there, it was preferable to this stage.
That was how much he did not want to be here. He did not want to participate in the bachelor auction. It seemed unfair that he was the only one of his brothers who didn’t have a wife to save him from this travesty. He didn’t even have a fiancée, girlfriend or female friend who could help a guy out. He’d checked repeatedly up to and including moments before stepping onto this stage.
