I still don’t understand. How can I wrap my mind around this, around him, a living being that is so farfrom anything I’ve ever known, anything I’ve ever seen in dreams or nightmares?
Then a vision assaults me. It is a feeling and a sound, a thought, like a dream itself. The vision flits from image to image.
The sisters chanting, eyes rolling back in their heads, strange words dripping from their mouths. They’re feverish, rocking back and forth, out of their minds.
A naked man, pale and black-haired, cowering before the sisters. I don’t see his face, but I know it’s Anguish. The sisters surround him, with hunger glinting in their eyes.
The ruin on the mountain, silent and black; and inside it is Anguish, pacing like a caged animal.
The sisters, dragging something up the mountain. It’s a man in flight gear, a pilot, his eyes wild with fear as the sisters deliver him to the foot of the citadel. He turns to flee, but before he can, Anguish’s smokey claws dart out of the citadel and gouge the man’s legs, causing him to topple to his face in the dirt. The pilot screams, clawing at the ground, begging for help, but the sisters only watch as Anguish drags him into the citadel completely, into the darkness. A muffled, gurgling cry. A splash of blood and entrails.
The valley below the village, verdant and rolling, as crops sprout up from the dark soil. Fruit hangs heavy from orchard boughs. The lambs bound freely through the forests, safe from predators. And all around these things,so faint it’s almost imperceptible, is the telltale curl of shadowy smoke: Anguish’s influence.
The sisters, dragging someone new up the mountain. Like the pilot, she is sacrificed on the altar of Anguish.
And another.
And another.
Three people this time, two women and a man. They are devoured. Their blood spatters the sisters as they watch their prisoner feed.
Bile burns in my throat as I watch, and I swallow down my vomit. I’m terrified of him, disgusted with him. But mostly I’m disgusted with myself. With the fact that even now, I know that if he asked for me I would give myself. Even now, I ache for him.
I realize the visions have ended. I remain in the darkness, the pulsing night, his heavy breaths all around me. He’s waiting for me to say something. I straighten up, still on my knees, knowing my legs would be too unsteady to support me just now. There is only one thing to say.
‘I’m a sacrifice.’ My voice sounds so small. My heart twists. ‘Irena didn’t invite me to stay here out of the kindness of her heart. She kept me here to feed you.’ My words echo in the darkness, unanswered. In that held-breath moment I feel caught in a nightmare, impaled by the excruciating truth: Only he could have known who I was;whatI was. That only I could sate him. I am here because he engineered it.
The night congeals and swirls around me like a cyclone. The candlelight returns, the room around me fading into place: stained glass windows, columns, arching ceiling. And he stands before me now, pale white and black-haired, his eyes glowing. As if that’s the one trait he can’t change, the one thing he can’t hide: his inhumanity; his demonic countenance. Though I know he’s no demon. He’s worse.
‘You asked them to bring me here?’ I say softly, almost inaudible. As if in keeping the words close to me, maybe they won’t be true.
‘I am insatiable,’ he answers, his expression twisting. ‘I require constant sustenance in order to survive. The sisters promised to keep me fed. I protected them, and they fed me. They brought in lost travelers, pilgrims, anyone who found themselves in the vicinity of this planet. I have eaten children. I have eaten the elderly. I have consumed entire families without a thought. But none kept me fed for longer than a few years; none truly sated me. You are the only one who can.’ He moves toward me, and I’m helpless to resist his approach. His words caress me, low and ragged against my sensitive skin. ‘Does that frighten you?’
My hands shake. I grip my thighs, forcing my fingers to still. I hold my chin up, defiant. ‘Of course it does.’
‘You feel betrayed.’
I grit my teeth. But even now, I don’t get up; I don’trun. I stay right here with him. ‘OfcourseI feel betrayed. You said we were made for one another. Born under the same star, that I’m different, that we …’ my voice fades.That we what? I don’t know anymore. He’s a cosmic entity, an utterly unknowable being, so far removed from humanity that I can’t begin to expect him to behave in a way that makes sense to me.
Yet my heart still fractures in my chest. Did he mean any of it? Was all of this a ruse to get me to succumb before he devours me?
He looms over me, his gaze now hard, onyx-black. ‘You don’t need to fear me. Not anymore.’ He reaches out a hand, brushing human-like knuckles along the curve of my jaw. ‘There is a cosmic connection between us, a tether, that grows stronger with every moment I’m near you. But it will not last long. If I am not given sustenance soon, I will die. Only you can make me whole again, Midonia. Only you can imbue me with the strength that I so desperately need.’
Adrenaline surges through me as my heart speeds, my vision clears, and true clarity spikes through my chest. This is not love. This is not even seduction. I have been lured here. My inexplicable attraction to him means nothing. I will not wait docile, lamb-like, for my death.
‘Can you not feel it, Midonia?’ His voice is like the roar of an ocean. ‘We are more powerful together. I amalready stronger with you by my side. Strong enough, now, to defy them.’
I scramble abruptly to my feet, backing away.
His eyes flash. He explodes into a storm cloud.
DO NOT RUN FROM ME, MIDONIA.
But I already am.
I clutch my skirts in my hands, my bare fleet slapping against the stone floor as I flee, heart in my throat, tears in my eyes. I can feel him behind me, his acrid smoke at my heels, his breath rasping. I come to the entrance of the citadel. The night hangs velvet-dark beyond, and for an instant, I hesitate.
Is he the true enemy here? Do I really want to run back into the arms of the sisters?
