“As my mate?”
Her smile disappeared, but she didn’t retreat.
“I don’t know yet.”
It hurt, but less than he would have expected. Perhaps because he’d already known her answer. Perhaps because she had given him the truth rather than the answer he wanted. He nodded.
“Then you don’t know yet.”
She studied him.
“And that’s all?”
“No.” He reached down and cupped her cheek. “I also want you to know that I hope someday the answer will be yes.”
A startled laugh escaped her.
“You’re learning.”
“Slowly, but I’m learning.”
His thumb moved across her cheekbone.
“If you chose tomorrow to leave Hothrest, I would not stop you. I would give you everything you needed for the journey. Iwould make certain you were safe.” His jaw tightened. “It would destroy me. But I would let you go. Because you being free matters more to me than you being mine.”
Her expression tightened, but he continued before she could say anything.
“I don’t want you to go. I want you here, little one. I want you here tomorrow and the day after that. I want more days than either of us can count. I want the permanence that frightens you.”
He bent his head until his forehead rested against hers.
“But you don’t owe it to me.”
“I know.”
“And I’m going to try to believe that you know that.”
That made her laugh softly.
“Good.”
He closed his eyes with a sigh of relief, and after a moment her arms slipped around his waist. He gathered her against him, not because she needed comfort, but because he wanted to hold her. And because she wanted to be held.
He didn’t know whether she would ever choose the bond he wanted so desperately. But she had chosen him today. And for now, that was enough.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
The next morning came grey and cold, the way mornings often did in the mountains. Polly woke slowly, warm beneath the furs, and for a long moment she simply lay there, watching Njkall sleep.
He looked younger in sleep. The constant watchfulness relaxed from his face, the weight of leadership lifted. She could see the faint lines around his eyes, the silver threads just beginning to show in his white fur, and she thought,This is what trust looks like. Letting someone see you when you’re unguarded.
She slipped out of bed carefully, not wanting to wake him, and padded to the entrance of their quarters. The main cavern was already stirring. She could hear Cera’s voice somewhere in the distance, and the clatter of the morning meal being prepared.
She was halfway through braiding her hair when the door chimes sounded and Baralt appeared at the entrance.
The massive white-furred Hothian ducked under the stone archway, his fangs catching the light as he offered her a brief nod. Despite his size—and he was enormous even byHothian standards—she had never been afraid of him. There was something in his manner that reminded her of Njkall, a contained violence held in check by absolute control.
“I need to speak with Njkall,” he said.
