“With Tess,” she continued. Her voice was steady but her hands had tightened against each other, knuckles going white. “She needs to talk to Baralt. About the ship. We think if she can describe what she saw of the ship, it might help him match it to something so he can track down who had her. Or even where she shouldn’t go once she leaves.” She took a shaky breath. “She asked me to come with her.”
He watched the set of her jaw, and the slight tremor at the corner of her mouth that she was fighting to hide. Courage sat on her like armor she hadn’t quite learned to wear yet, too big in some places and too tight in others, but it was unmistakably there.
Port Eyeja.
The landing field. The crowds. The narrow streets full of males who looked too long and stood too close and didn’t know her,didn’t know what she’d survived, didn’t know that the wrong glance could send her spiraling back to the cage on the ship that had stolen her from everything she’d ever known. Or the even worse place.
He remembered leading her through the town when she arrived. And he remembered the way she’d pressed so close to his side that he could feel her heartbeat through his fur, pikka-fast and terrified, enduring it only because she trusted him to keep the world at bay.
And now she was telling him she was going back. Not asking.Telling.
Good,he thought, even as his chest tightened with a fear he would not let her see.Good. This is good. This is what I wanted for her.
He just hadn’t expected it to feel like this when she did. Like pride and terror braided so tight he couldn’t tell where one ended and the other began.
“Njkall?” Her voice wavered slightly. She was watching him the way she used to in the early days, searching for a reaction that would tell her whether she’d done something wrong. “Say something.”
He crossed to her and stopped an arm’s length away because he would not crowd her, not ever. Not even when every instinct in him was screaming to pull her against his chest and hold her there where nothing could touch her.
“What do you need from me?” he asked instead.
She blinked. Whatever she’d been bracing for, it wasn’t that.
“I—” She shook her head, a quick uncertain motion. “I thought you’d tell me not to go. Or that it was dangerous. Or—I don’t know. Something.”
“It is dangerous.” He kept his voice calm, the voice he used when she needed steadiness more than answers. “You know that better than I do. You’re frightened. I can see it on you. You’ve been frightened since you walked through that door and you’re still standing here telling me you’re going anyway.” He let the corner of his mouth lift, just slightly. “Why would I tell you not to do one of the bravest things I’ve ever seen you do?”
Surprise flickered across her face, followed by something softer, something that made his heart ache in a way that had nothing to do with fear.
“It doesn’t feel brave,” she said. “It feels like I’m going to be sick.”
“That’s what brave feels like. Anyone who tells you otherwise has never been frightened of anything worth fearing.” He tilted his head, studying her. “You didn’t answer my question. What do you need from me, little one?”
She was quiet for a moment, her fingers uncurling. He watched her think and that too was a kind of bravery, the willingness to ask herself what she actually wanted instead of what she thought she should want.
“Come with us,” she said at last. “I don’t want you to hover. I can’t learn to do things on my own if you’re standing in front of every hard thing. But I want to know you’re there. Close enough that I can reach you if I need to. Is that—” She hesitated. “Is that too much to ask?”
“Never,” he said roughly, then softened his tone. “No. I’ll be there. At whatever distance you need. Close enough to reach, far enough to let you breathe. You set the terms.”
Relief washed over her face, followed by determination, fragile but real. She nodded once, quickly, as if she were afraid she’d lose her nerve if she took too long.
“All right. Then we should… We should make a plan. Tess won’t want surprises. Neither will I, honestly.” A shaky almost-laugh. “What does it look like? How do we do this?”
He considered the options.
“We’ll take a sleigh,” he said. “It’s faster than walking, and you won’t have to spend as much time in the cold. I’ll ask Baralt to meet us at his house instead of the enforcement hall. You’ve been there before and it’s quieter there.”
She nodded slowly, following his logic. “And if even that is too much? If I need to leave?”
“Then we leave. Immediately. No questions, no arguments. You say the word and I take you home.” He held her gaze. “You are not trapped, little one. Not by this trip, not by anything. If you walk into that town and every part of you tells you to leave, then we leave. I will be right beside you. Do you understand?”
“Yes.” Her voice was stronger now. Still scared, but anchored. “Yes. I understand.”
“Good.” He glanced towards the passage that led to the healer’s cave. “Tess is still with Cera?”
“Yes. She’s ready, I think.” She hesitated. “As ready as she’ll get anyway. She’s angry more than scared, most of the time. Angry is easier than scared.”
He nodded and headed for the door. “Then we’ll go this afternoon. I’ll ready the sleigh and send a message to Baralt. Give me a quarter-hour, then bring her to the main entrance. Can you do that?”
