“Deus has…disappeared?” I can hardly hear the words, my voice is so small and mouselike. “But I left him in his sector.”
“The fact you left him means you can’t exactly vouch for him,” Maggie says. “And it also doesn’t exactly help his cause, given you thought he was talking about his mate who died before you left.”
I feel as if someone has reached down my throat and plucked out half of my heart. The other half attempts to beat but I don’t think it is.
I’m not sure it can ever beat again.
“You didn’t tell them that, did you?”
“No,” Maggie says, narrowing her eyes. “I won’t tell Driok anything if you don’t want me to. I simply told him you and Deus are spending time apart.”
“I doubt he understands that explanation.” I stare past Maggie at the wall. It has a strange texture, almost like dragon skin. “And I doubt any of the warlords are going to take long to work out my leaving has something to do with Deus disappearing.”
Maggie winces. “I didn’t want to say.” She sighs. “They’re not stupid…except perhaps Dante…although I think all the explosions have addled his brain. They are going to come to some conclusion or other, and given the levels of Sarkarnii testosterone, it will involve a cry of traitor.”
“Deus isn’t a traitor.”
“Lydia!” Maggie growls. “Why are you still defending him? He told you he was in rut for you, and yet all he does is talk about his dead mate. That’s hardly behavior worth defending.”
I don’t say anything. My head is already lost. Did Deus leave because yet again he thought he saw his mate in some other part of the galaxy? Or because he was told something which would make her live again? I admit, he wasn’t completely coherent last night, but I felt his position was clear.
Which is why I left.
And now everyone is going to think the worst of him.
“He’s grieving, Maggie. People do strange things when they’re grieving,” I say, quietly.
“No, Lydia. People grieve. I’m sure even Sarkarnii grieve. But there’s a huge difference between grieving and being a colossal arsehole,” Maggie spits, warming to her subject.
I know I won’t be able to persuade her otherwise. Perhaps I should be listening to her anyway. After all, why would Deus say he was in rut for me and yet still apparently want his former, deceased mate? None of it makes any sense, and my head throbs with the onset of a headache which is going to be crippling.
But my half a heart is still beating. Something about this whole situation is wrong. The moment I ran, the moment I left the cabin, something felt wrong. I just didn’t know what it was. And I can’t exactly tell Maggie because she’ll say I’m defending the indefensible again.
Deus going on the run, but it doesn’t seem to me like it’s something he would do. Regardless of my feelings for him, he genuinely seemed like he wanted to be part of the Sarkarnii settlement.
My stomach is in my boots, and I’m inwardly cursing myself for not trying to talk things through with him. It has to work both ways. If I want to know how he feels about his mate, he needs to know how I feel.
But instead, I ran away. And then this has happened.
There is a chime on Maggie’s comm device.
“It’s Driok. He and Dalox want to question you,” she says. “I can tell them to do one, if you’d prefer.”
“Whatever you think of Deus, he isn’t a traitor,” I respond. “And I have no issues telling Driok and Dalox that.”
“Okay.” Maggie sighs. “Your funeral.”
“Tasteless much?”
“Always.” She reaches out, taking my hand and squeezing it. “I just want you to be happy, Lydia. I want you not to have the nightmares, to accept our fate, to embrace it. I don’t want you stuck with a male who treats you…badly.”
“Believe me, I know exactly what being treated badly looks like,” I respond. “I won’t go there ever again.”
The door to my temporary quarters opens and Driok and Dalox stride in. Dalox looks like thunder.
“Give me the location of the traitor, Deus,” he snarls. “And I might not banish you to the furthest reaches of the galaxy.”
DEUS
