I know it isn’t.
She is still in this place, in this room, in this water. She is everywhere. I cannot ever be with him while she resides in his head.
“It’s not what I want either,” I say, hauling myself out of the pool and grabbing a towel. “I wanted to live a quiet life with my friends. No more trouble, no more anxiety.” I glare at him as I duck under his arm. “No moremales.”
I pick up my clothing as I move back through the cabin, rapidly drying off my body so I can pull everything back on.
“Where are you going?” Deus growls.
“I’m going back to my friends.” I look him up and down. Those eyes are still burning, his hair still partially obscuring his face. “Until you decide what you want.”
But I already know it is not me.
It can’t ever be me.
I walk out of the cabin, following the lit path easily through the jungle without fear.
I don’t look back.
If I look back, I will lose any resolve I have.
At the airlock, it hisses to allow me to exit. I don’t hear any footsteps. I don’t hear any growls. I don’t hear anything.
Deus hasn’t come for me.
Of course he hasn’t. After all, I’m second.
She’s first.
She’ll always be first.
DEUS
I open one eye. It hurts like a nevver, so I close it again. After a while, I think I should probably attempt the eye thing once more. It still hurts, and the blinding white light sears into my pupil.
“The subject is awake.” It’s a bot voice, metallic and cold.
“I’ll tear your innards out,” I attempt to say.
All that comes out is a series of grunts. My voice is gone, taken by the tight grip around my neck. I attempt to lift my arms, move my hands or my legs. I get so far and then…
A lightning bolt spears through me, causing an almost instant paralysis.
I am as weak as a newborn sarkarnling once more. Unable to move, unable to stop the thing going into my eye and holding it open.
“This is an interesting specimen.” A different voice, not a bot, fills my ears. “Unusually resistant to the usual methods of containment.”
I attempt to tell whatever it is to nev off, but there is only a growl.
“Some of them are.” A second voice. “This is part of a group we infected with a virus. It survived. You can tell by the DNA scarring.”
“Not all of them survived.”
“No. But the ones who did are the better specimens. And any they have mated with.”
“Theymate? How primitive.”
“You have not worked on Sarkarnii before?”
