The last thing I want to do is leave her. So, I retreat to the doorway and slide my back down the wall where I can see her, hear her, where I can be close to her if she requires anything.
I did not want to hurt her by asking for her help, but it seems, somehow, I have broken her when I only wanted to bring her pleasure.
The day slides past. She doesn’t move for a long time and when she does it is to enter the aquium and use the sanitary facilities before creeping back without a single glance at me. The suns hit their peak, and I know she cannot continue without having some sustenance. I get some from the food dispenser and leave it in the pit before resuming my position. Waiting. Watching.
The suns descend behind me, down over the valley. I bring her water. I leave it next to the pit. When I return from taking a piss, the water is gone, and I curse I was not there for her.
Darkness falls. Lights come on within the dwelling. I stretch out my limbs.
Which is when I hear the noise.
The noise of an entire cohort of Sarkarnii trying not to make a noise.
“Stay here,” I growl into the dark. “I have something I need to deal with.”
LYDIA
He never left me. Not for the whole day. I didn’t want him to leave either, and yet, I didn’t want to be with him.
Deus brought me food and water. He didn’t attempt to speak to me. He was just there. All the time. A big presence, with the smell of spice and smoke. One hand draped over his raised knee, his freshly washed hair falling in silky strands around his handsome face.
It didn’t make things any easier.
It didn’t make them any harder.
I can’t remember a time when I was with a male of any species and didn’t feel on edge. But today, Deus left me be, provided care, and didn’t judge. He was simply there in the moment and nothing more.
Which hasn’t helped the thoughts swirling around my head all day. How much I am too damaged for him. How much I can only ever be second best. How this will never, ever work.
How much I would like it to work.
“Stay here,” Deus rasps in the dim light of the cabin. “I have something I need to deal with.”
I don’t hear him move, but when I look out, he has gone. There is a Deus-shaped hole in my life. I climb out of the deep pitand make my way into the main living area to grab my clothing, which I pull on quickly. Inside my bag, my comm device is flashing. I dig it out.
Kerra
Are you there, Lydia?
Darax and Dante are coming for you.
“Shit!” The swear escapes my lips before I even think about it.
Of course, I messaged them to say I was okay, but then I got caught up in otherthings.Things which were distracting in the extreme.
Now they are coming for me, and there’s no sign of Deus.
I can’t imagine this will end well. Not at all.
I move to the window, pressing my face against the glass, although it isn’t glass, it’s something else, but I’m trying to see anything, any sign of Deus or any other Sarkarnii.
Which is when I fall straight through, landing, very nearly, on my face, outside.
If I was a prisoner, I’m not now.
Outside, the air is humid, which is not something I’m used to here on Vorostor. It is heavy with the scent of damp dirt and a perfume of vegetation and flowers. My senses are initially overloaded, and I take a second to recover from the onslaught.
It has clearly been too long since I did anything outside the rarified atmosphere of the Sarkarnii compounds.
