“I’m not even the only guy out there trying this stuff,” he says, and I pour out the drinks.
“Yeah, but it’s your name now, own it. I own The Flash,” Cosmo replies, and Luka scoffs.
“You came up with that,” Luka laughs.
“Did not,” he protests.
“You fucking did. You wanted to be called The Flash, so you started getting other people to call you that too, until it caught on.”
Eli chuckles beside him and picks up his beer to try to hide his smile. Benji and David join us, and I gently swat Benji’s hand away when he reaches for my beer, then I pass him a lemonade.
“Are you eating with the enemy now, brother?” David asks, eyeing Cosmo with distaste as he sits.
“Settle down, baby Raines, we’re all good here,” Cosmo says, and Benji splutters in laughter, snorting lemonade out his nose and onto the table.
I learned a long time ago not to react, and I grab a few napkins from the side to sop up the mess then pass a few to my half-choking brother.
“At least now I know I can put you down for a plus one for the wedding,” Cosmo says.
A cold chill runs up my spine. While my brothers and White know about our relationship, we haven’t exactly gone public. Luka revealed that he told his best friend about a week ago. I still have my brothers to talk to, and while he loves his parents, I agree that it’s not exactly ideal to talk about his love life with them.
“How are the wedding plans going?” I ask, changing the subject.
“My sister’s determined to walk me down the aisle,” Cosmo laughs. “She thinks this is her chance to play out her Alexa Rose moment, and she’s started screaming, ‘Ew, David,’ whenever I suggest something she doesn’t like.”
“Hey,” David complains. “I resent the idea that anything associated with my name is ew.”
I shake my head and thankfully the conversation moves on.
“She does have a point about the hockey puck wedding favors, though,” Eli says, resting his hand over Cosmo’s on top of the table. I clock Luka’s gaze moving to their hands and I know right away what he’s thinking. He wants that. To be able to be completely open with someone, with me. But I’m not sure I’m ready for that yet. After I gave up being captain I thought I might be, even tempted the universe by talking openly while Luka was all mic’d up a few times too. But either no one was listening when I was talking or the team has people who make sure that shit stays squashed.
“So, what would a hockey puck wedding favor look like?” I ask, and Cosmo shrugs.
“It’s a puck, so it would look like any other puck, except this one would have a photo of us on it,” Cosmo explains.
“So, we get to take it home and then what, use your faces for target practice on the ice?” I ask.
“I never thought about that. Okay, so pucks are out. How about chocolate hockey sticks?” Cosmo asks.
Eli passes his beer to Cosmo, who swaps it silently with his empty glass.
“What about white and dark chocolate king and queen chess pieces?” Eli asks, and Cosmo grabs him by the face and kisses him. It’s quick, but it’s free and open, and I’m definitely more than a little jealous that he gets to be so open with the guy he loves.
“You’re brilliant, yes, that’s totally us.” Cosmo beams. “How did I manage to score such a brilliant guy?”
“You’re pretty wonderful yourself,” Eli replies.
My hand finds Luka’s thigh under the table, and I give it a soft squeeze.
“You okay?” I whisper as I lean in close.
He puts his hand over the top, his fingers lacing between mine, and it sends that familiar rush of warmth through my body.
“Yeah. I was just wishing that could be us,” he whispers in reply, even though no one but me is listening to him. Cosmo and Eli are already scrolling their phones looking for chocolate chess pieces, and David and Benji have finished off the last of the lemonade pitcher and are arguing about the best topper for their steaks.
“I can’t give you the out loud, in your face, scream it from the rooftops kind of life together right now,” I say as I turn a little in my seat to face him. “But what I can tell you is that you do deserve to have that, and I guess I’m hoping what we have right now, the quiet, just for us, special . . . you-know-what, is enough for you, for now at least.”
We haven’t said the L-word yet, and I am okay with that. His soft gaze holds mine, and I want so badly to kiss him. He nods and I lovehim all that much more, because he sees it too. He sees that what we have doesn’t have to be public to be real.
