“You still haven’t told me why I can’t feel your magic the same way.”
The abrupt question makes me pause. Voicing what happened feels like giving power to it. Like maybe if I ignore it, it’ll go away. I’d rather focus on Graylen and what he’s been through—it’s far harsher than what I’m dealing with.
But as he watches me, a silent plea in his gaze, I can’t deny him. I let out a sigh and sit down at his side, my knees bent and arms draped over them.
“The shard of Nightfall,”I start to explain, a spot seeming to warm where it sits in my vest.“All magic has a price. And using its power asked for mine in return. To fuel it, to pay it—I don’t know.”
I set my gaze firmly on the growing campfire, afraid to look at Graylen. He tenses beside me.
“I didn’t know it at first—all it wanted was blood,”I add.“But then when I needed it for something bigger, the price grew heavier. I only offered it small pieces of my Essence—parts of my Woodland and Undine sides—but the rest of my magic is draining, too.”
“That’s what the warning was about,”he remarks, filling in the blanks.
I nod my head and toss a leaf into the flames, watching as it coils in on itself and burns to ash.
“I’d do it again,”I whisper aloud, twisting toward him. I find him already watching me, those breathtaking emerald eyespinning me in place. “What you did for me—” My voice breaks. I clear my throat and try again. “No one has ever done something like that for me.”
Graylen freezes, his openness slamming shut like a heavy door.
“What are you so afraid of?” I ask—the question a plea. “Talk to me.”
There’s a tremble in my voice, afraid of what happens if he answers honestly. And even more afraid of what happens if he doesn’t.
He looks away, his expression guarded.
“Please,” I try again. “We’re not us right now.”
His gaze softens as he stares into the fire, still avoiding my eyes. His lips part as his voice fills the air with a soft rasp. “I would lay my life down at your feet if it meant you could walk among this realm just one more day.”
When he looks at me, the wall is back up.
“Butyou—you need your magic, Lu,”he adds into my mind.“Our focus should be on our mission. Not just for the kingdom, but for you and your magic.”
Hurt sits heavily in my stomach as he steers the conversation to a different topic. Giving him space nearly splinters my heart in two, but I don’t know how to be soft for him—if I’ll be enough for him to safely let go. And that terrifies me.
I shake my head, letting my gaze fall back to the fire.
“Maybe the warning was false. To scare us,”I try to reason, but deep down, that doesn’t feel true. It doesn’t feel the same as when it’s depleted; it just feels like it’s slowly being leeched from my soul.“Even if that was the messenger’s tactic, it worked.”
We don’t know if it was Daimon who sent it, and that frightens me almost as much as the warning itself. Who will I be if I lose my magic for good?
“So, we find Nightfall as planned,”he says quietly.“Quickly.”From the corner of my eye, I see him nod, as if deciding something.
“Who’s taking the first shift for watch?” Adrian says a little too loudly, causing me to jump.
“Me,” Graylen and I say at the same time
Adrian rolls his eyes, plopping down on the other side of the fire and poking it with a stick, causing embers to float into the now-dark sky.
“Rest,”I tell Graylen.“I’ll wake you up when I start to get too tired.”
Graylen’s fingers curl around my chin, tilting my face toward him. “Sleep, little princess,” he says firmly, a flash of his old self rising to the surface. In my mind, he adds,“Your magic can’t replenish if you’re exhausted.”
His nostrils flare, and I know he isn’t going to give this one up. I sigh, relenting.
“Fine,”I send back.“But Adrian doesn’t get a watch. I don’t trust him to stay awake or not sneak off into the night.”
Graylen nods his head and pulls away, leaving an ache of longing in the center of my chest. Even as he leans back, his gaze lingers on my mouth as if the same longing fills him, too. Why is he holding himself back from me?
