“You aren’t.”
She brought a small stick with sulfur at the end against the wooden swing and a flame roared to life. He smiled, remembering when she learned how to mix a large bag of it and nearly blew the entire herbal storage room to bits.
“Are you sure lighting that in a tree is a good idea, Evie?” he asked, pondering how he would explain to the queen that he lether daughter burn down the most sacred tree in all of the empire.
“I’ll be careful,” she mumbled, not really paying him any attention.
But he didn’t push it. She only lit lavender when her anxiety got so bad that she needed to calm her heart. She never explicitly told him that was why she did it, but he could feel the rapid thrum of her pulse when she was stressed. And right now it was beating so quickly that he knew she needed it.
Evelina lit the end of the lavender and they both watched in silence as the flame ate away the buds. The fire quickly worked its way down the stem, letting off a sweet and smoky aroma. After a moment, she blew it out, letting the smoke drift around them.
“How many times have you done this already tonight?” He kept his voice quiet, trying to gauge her response. Her answer would tell him all he needed to know about her level of stress.
One burning meant she was just a little overwhelmed and needed to cool off. A couple burnings around the room meant that she desperately needed to clear her thoughts and the energy around her. More than that meant something terrible had happened, and he wasn’t sure how to bring her back from that.
“I already walked the perimeter with a few stalks,” she mumbled.
A few stalks. He could work with that.
“Did you crack one of the windows?” he asked, nodding to one of the many panes lining the far wall of the room.
“Of course I did.” Evelina rolled her eyes. “How else would the negative energy leave?”
She was talking, and that was a good sign too. He could see her visibly relax, but, more than that, he could feel it. Her anxiety thrummed to a dull ache instead of igniting into a roaring panic.
She sighed. “Being around people can be overwhelming.Herbs make sense to me. They require certain things, and I know the outcome I’m going to get and what each item will produce after the right amount of care. But people are fickle. Confusing.”
He nodded his head, though he didn’t fully understand. The only person he cared about understanding was right next to him.
“Just let me know when you feel like you need a break and I’ll cover for you.” His voice was tender and soft. They were young, but he knew that he wanted to help her in any way he could. Her siblings sometimes forgot about her—with how quiet and stoic she was, it was easy for her to get lost in the fray.
“Can you just stay with me?” She turned to him, chewing on her lip, her voice filled with hesitancy. “We can just sit and not talk if you want.”
“Whatever you need.” He smiled, and so did she.
Thirty-One
Daimon
The memory fadedaway as it ended, the stars coming back into view.
Being here with Evelina almost made it feel like old times, when there wasn’t a war and Daimon was still the Nox boy she could lean on. He didn’t know if they’d ever get back to being so carefree with each other. He was curious if she felt the same, if she too missed what they had once had; the ease of a friendship between two people who trusted each other completely.
Daimon turned his head to ask Evelina if she liked the memory he chose, but the moment he saw her, he froze.
Tears streamed down her face. Her cry was so silent he hadn’t even noticed it.
Without thinking, he laced his fingers through hers. He half expected her to pull away, still unsure where they stood. But she held on. His thumb itched to rub her hand, but he forced himself to stay still—too afraid to move and have her retreat.
“There’s no crying in dreams,” he said softly.
In all honesty, he didn’t know what to do with her tears. She was one who rarely let a tear fall, her emotions staying bundled up in her mind instead.
She sniffed and let the tears keep falling. “Sometimes, tears are freeing.”
His brows jumped in surprise at her response. Even when her older brothers would play tricks on her and everyone would laugh at her, she wouldn’t cry as a child. Not even when she would fall down while running in the glade when they were hardly old enough to walk.
Seeing her emotions displayed so clearly on her face had his own buried hurt coming to the surface. She made him want to face it head-on, this strong and brave woman who faced the most painful feelings with full force. It made him want to mend old, broken wounds, because with her by his side, it wasn’t as painful.
